Just hurting... but whatever. One person cares, which is why I reactivated my plurk again in the first place.

I have no fight left whatsoever, but at least knowing that this sole person out of all the internet, real life and the afterlife combined who sees a speck of worth in me might be enough to help me get through tonight.

I hope it's enough...

Operation Delete my rl and online existence had started yesterday. Will update with the following that’s been deleted.

Not at all expecting the rpa mod to reply or anyone who has a problem with me to reach out. I’ve been proven many times the last half of 2024 to now that there’s no such thing as hope, forgiveness, and second chances. That and that folks don’t mean what they say when put to the test. Im just tired and don’t want to deal with this anymore

Donated all of my money to a random Gofundme with little support(surprisingly, the amount given surpassed their goal) with enough put aside for groceries and remaining bills for the month. Maybe the person behind the GFM will have hope now, cause I surely don’t have any for myself nor do I trust church folks who claim to lend their ear yet give me-

Kinda bittersweet to return home 2/3 weeks after everything, but is happy to be in my own room again.

--The best news out of today is that I sent an invite to a game and said invite was approved by the mods!

Gonna app in Noble Heart of course. What a relief! I’m definitely gonna do my best to not screw this up!--

Edit: Nevermind

Well... it was expected, least when I talked to a mod about another game, that I’m likely gonna get pre-banned from many(if not all) on dreamwidth and that those who I commented to concerning rp and the like would be ignored.

It hurts, yes... but I did it to myself. As the saying goes: you made your bed now lie in it.

Kinda nervous... A Pokémon MD game is on its way and there’s someone who might app Dark Heart from the 2nd Care Bears movie. Commented to them with Yugi journal saying that will likely thrown in Noble Heart Horse if they’re serious about apping.

Haven’t gotten a reply yet, but is hopeful this isn’t dejavu all over again...

Wasn’t motivated to rp in Discord; just not the same. Decided to give myself another go at Dreamwidth, just to stick to memes like bakerstreet for now. Gonna try and not worry about what anyone online thinks of me anymore, whether positive or negative. Just need to keep my distance and go from there.

The last day of 2024 ends with two rp partners ready to put forth a lot of angst/drama on our OCs, new video games I brought on sale from Steam which would likely be ignored for some time due to playing certain ones a million times, and joining in writing servers to improve my rp skills(may step up to writing my own story for fun, but in the future).

So, the money I receive every month is in my bank account. I may not have a credit card anymore(maybe until the far future, idk), but it’s enough to last until February.

Other than bills and basic needs, don’t have a reason for money. Considering buying a game or two from Steam when I go home Saturday.