I think if I can get just one more WiFi device in my office I won't need to use the microwave to cook lunch.

A deserted island is looking pretty good right about now. /me has reached my limit of idiots for the day.

I spent an hour or so cleaning up my office and now everyone thinks I must be quitting. Seriously people, it wasn't *that* messy.

Some days I wonder why I bother to get out of bed. I call those days weekdays.

I can print something across the building, walk to get it, have a smoke & come back before the ancient laserjet 10 ft from my desk warms up.

Apparently this is come to work and get a free Bible lesson day. I knew I should have called in sick.

On the bright side, if I get hungry I can flip my laptop over and fry bacon and eggs on the bottom of it.

Clueless user request of the day - "I can't log in." I used all my technical abilities to correct that by turning her monitor on.

I think my most used app today might be the Mozilla crash reporter.

If a PHB holds a meeting in the forest and no one is around to attend it, does he still make a Powerpoint?