PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?" TEACHERquot; Of course not." PUPIL: "Good, because I haven’t done my homework."

Customer: Excuse me, but I saw your thumb in my soup when you were carrying it. Waitress: Oh, that's okay. The soup isn't hot.

The real estate agent says, "I have a good, cheap apartment for you." The man replies, "By the week or by the month?"

Bank Teller: How do you like the money? English Student: I like it very much.

"Why do you take baths in milk?" "I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower."

"You look very funny wearing that belt." "I would look even funnier if I didn't wear it."

"I was born in California." "Which part?" "All of me."

Teacher: Do you have trouble making decisions? Student: Well...yes and no.

I used to be a werewoolf... But I'm much better noooooooooooow !

Customer: Waiter, waiter! There is a frog in my soup!!! Waiter: Sorry, sir. The fly is on vacation.