I smoked my first cigarette in five years last night. the weeklong mental breakdown is still ongoing

just feel taken for granted a lot ngl but that's not really a new feeling

God, just fucking kill me and get it over with. It's not like it'll make any fucking difference.

And it's just me, alone.

I don't ask for anything as it is, I don't understand how I get fucked over for it regardless. Christ.

man, I wonder what that's like.

I want to cut.

I've been treated as expendable and replaceable my entire life, I really don't expect that to change anytime soon.

spiralling badly

whoops that is a lot of blood