felt it creeping up more and more. i feel exhausted and i'm having trouble sleeping and if anyone has any advice for me i would appreciate it <3

I lost both of mine. I have no advice, I'm sorry. it's been a nearly five years for mom and sometimes, it is all I can do to function.

Cats. At least two of them!

Tillie: cats are perpetually on my mind, my new building won't let me foster anymore though

aw fu.

DAngelle: i'm so sorry. i lost my grandparents 20 years ago and they were like a second set of parents so i've known significant loss, but this is a different feeling- like, i don't know how to NOT have a dad anymore, you know?

Can you visit the shelter, tho? Here, they are always looking for people to walk dogs etc.

I think cats and dogs can help a lot.

They need your help, and you need them.

What Tillie is suggesting. I started rescuing dogs. However the original two are now gone, I have 7 puppers. Rescuing and giving a loving home was addicting.

I had to do grief therapy when my parents died- and it helped immensely with those feelings

The thing that I've learned about grief over the years is that you will feel what you feel. Let yourself be sad. It's not been that long since your Dad passed, and the non-stop arrangements tend to blunt the impact. It's when everything quiets down that it truly hits. What you're experiencing is normal, you don't have to try to get past it quickly.

sending you hugs

I'm sorry for your loss! These moments of grief will creep up on you in your daily life where they use to occupy the space. I lost my dad a few years ago and the first year was very hard when we had to move forward as a family without him. But it does get easier every year when you start to fill that void with other things.

I've lost my mother (11 years ago now) and I'm losing her sister my aunt now. It's hard. The grief comes and goes. There will be times when you feel numb and the guilt for not feeling enough hits. Then there will be times when you feel too much and the grief just rolls over you like waves and it's hard to breathe. I'm very sorry for your loss.

I don’t have an answer for you, but I am sending my condolences 💕

I lost my husband and father within 6 months of each other. That was two years ago. It’s still hard. All I can say is allow yourself the time to feel your feelings and crying is good. It’s a shower for the soul.

I'm so sorry, my condolences on your loss. I don't have a lot of experience in this kind of thing, but I agree that volunteering at a shelter sounds like a good idea, maybe filling your free time being helpful to animals in need would be fulfilling. It also might help keep you up and doing things - I know if it were me I would probably try to hide in my bed.

I had this when my sister died. I was very very very busy for six months and then when I finally got back to my own house, I imploded. It's very hard. Give yourself the time to feel all of it but try to get out when you can. Know that there is no deadline for being over it or back to normal. We are here however you are doing.

I'm so sorry. I lost my dad in 2020 and it is sometimes still a struggle knowing he's gone. The best advice i have for that first year is to feel your feelings. There are days where it's going to hurt like you just found out. But there will also be good days, too. The first year really is the hardest.

Just know that nobody can tell you how this is going to be for you, it is different for everyone. The good news is that you will get through this, it does get better than it is right now, you eventually get to choose how and why you remember them and there really are no right and wrong answers on how you are supposed to deal with this.

It mostly takes some time and some love, from you and to you, from yourself and from some others...and cats.

This ended up on my timeline and I normally don't respond to replurks, but my dad died earlier this month three years after learning he had cancer too, so I'm just chiming in to say that I'm sorry for your loss. His good natured mantra through his illness was, "Take it one day at a time," which is, I guess, what we keep doing as we heal.

popping back in to deliver hugs <3

I’m so very sorry for your loss. It is hard right now and that’s ok. You have support and your not alone. Keeping busy isn’t always the answer. There is no one answer. Everyone feels grief differently. Allow yourself to feel. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself in a supermarket aisle out of the blue coming to tears. It happens. Be good to yourself!

I'm so sorry for your loss! I lost my dead 3 years ago, and I still go through bouts of intense sadness and miss him very much. It takes time, and sometimes memories come when you least expect them. Right now I smile more often than I cry thinking of him, and every time my mum and I talk of him, we have tears in our eyes. Take your time and be good to

yourself. Grief is love, it will heal, but I think it also fundamentally changes one, and we have to get accustomed to that.

Hugs!!

I’m really sorry to hear about your dad. I haven’t lost a parent, but a lot of the last year got eaten up by my grief from losing Bo. Find a hobby or something to get totally lost in. I did a ton of puzzles and cooking.

I've lost both of my parents. Everyone grieves differently. I was given some grief books and they say to remember them and to celebrate them (even on their birthday), cry when/if you need to, and to keep doing what you would normally do if you can. Sorry for you loss.

thank you all for your kindness <3 and those that shared your losses, too- it does make me feel less alone even though logically i know that this happens to everyone at some point? after the calls and texts and appointments and arrangements have settled down, everything can feel very... empty. my dad was my dog's best friend, so i miss sending him pictures

every day, and bringing him over to visit. my dog still runs into my parents house and looks to where my dad used to be. so that's hard, too

i very much miss fostering kittens and if there was a way for me to keep doing it, i would, but my new building has a manager/office and camera everywhere, as well as a very strict 1 pet policy, so for the time being i've donated all of my supplies to the shelter

while i'm not opposed to volunteering in another way, the shelter is about 35-40 mins away and after having kittens at home for 3+ years it doesn't mentally feel as fulfilling to me i guess? so i'm not sure about making a commitment to that just yet

for now when the sads start rolling in, i play Wingspan on my phone, and i'm getting back into reading, which are great mental time outs

i'm 41, but something about losing a parent makes you feel like a child again, i don't know if that makes sense totally. but i've lost the person that i relied on for many things and i feel both very lost and very small, like the world just got bigger and scarier

I am so sorry. I lost my mom in June and I'm hurting so much still. The grief and the breakdowns I have everyday are intense. I can only extend my love and hugs to you.

I don't have any good advice, but I loved The House in the Cerulean Sea. It was cozy and full of magical realism and a cat. I adored it. I saw you were getting back into reading, so I decided to add to your list. I am very sorry for your loss. I hope time will dull the ache.

Also, if you're drowning in grief, please don't be afraid to tell your doctor. Medication's helped me tremendously with my grief/depression.

Sorry for your loss

I am so sorry for your loss. When I lost my brother it took years to process without the grief being overwhelming, also lots of anger at his manner of death. It's been 9 years and it still hurts, but it's become an more of an ache instead of a sharp pain. I hope you are able to feel some slight comfort in being able to share your pain with us.

I lost my father in 96 and my mom in 2006. I still cry sometimes when the grief hits me out of the blue, but I realized that just allowing myself space to grieve makes it easier than trying to avoid feeling it. It does get easier with time. It's not that I miss them less or that the grief is less, but the overwhelm happens less often.