I’m Back. time to act totally and completely unhinged

not my own mother using 🥺

them: you like getting locked in a cage for hours?

me: yeah, it’s not so bad, my boss is pretty cool.

them: i wouldn’t want to work for bezos

me: I’m not employed

them: what

me: what

when people say there are high on “””life”””. they are 100 per centile talking about ketamine.

i have awoken and now it’s everyone else’s Problem

really think my next career will be Competitive Solitare Shoutcasting

i learn from the mistakes of people who take my advice

making the most magnificent omelette you’ve ever seen and then immediately quoting steve buscemi in spy kids 2

what people think adult only posts are for: sexy time

what they are really for: how many cans of bake dbeans to make One Big Pot Of Chili

i have been forced into creating a plurk. the world shall know vengeance for this