life will be perfect.Like if sweatpants were sexy,Mondays were fun,junk food was healthy,men weren't confusing,& nothing was regrettable

so proud of myself it took him 7 months to solve a jigsaw puzzle and the box said two to 4 years

a new definition:sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia: Ice Cream Headaches

Its not the Hand that you Dealt but How You're Playin Your Cards

The beach,life is different.Time doesn't move hour to hour but mood to moment.We live by the currents, plan by the tides & follow the sun.

thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

My how time changes.....Then: "Whatever"... Now: "Depends"

Note to self: If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.....Blamed it on the kids.

to buy a TV set like my neighbors.So I can annoy them by standin outside & changin their channel using my identical remote control.