If your good sense, sir, were replaced with an equal amount of coal, you would scarcely be able to power a penny-farthing. #VictorianInsults

Of the many aspects of this meal which are excellent, none stand out more than the taste, which lacks this quality. #VictorianInsults

I submit that the matriarch of your family is so corpulent, that her girth is not unlike that of a steam powered airship. #VictorianInsults

Sir: if someone were to compare you unfavourably to a water buffalo, why I might remain silent on the matter entirely! #VictorianInsults

Don't expect anything from me at 7:30 on a Saturday morning except profanity and a tit-grab.

So long story short, it turns out the guy was gay and not a doctor trying to check my tonsils with an oddly shaped tongue depressor.

I bet a million dollars that you didn't know I had a gambling problem.

Did Hannibal from the A-Team do anything besides chomp a cigar and say "I love it when a plan comes together"? Mr. T should kick his ass.

The man at the hardware store wouldn't sell me anything except a tool to punch holes in leather. "It's awl or nothing," he said.

It's nice to see these woodworking tools have taken on a life of their own. It means the acid is finally kicking in.