I'm sorry. I don't know how I could construe "Let me play with your putter" as anything other than your desire for mini golf.

Going to see 2012 tonight. Much like the real 2012, I expect it to be a huge disaster.

No, Chewbacca was NOT a jedi. Are you really in communications?

I'm very sorry to bring you this news, gentlemen. But according to the graffiti in the guy's bathroom, cow is gay.

Worst insult of the day: "You're so old you remeber when Garfield was funny!" *sob*

Probably the most seriously awesome thing I've seen on XKCD, and there have been A LOT of seriously awesome things: xkcd.com/657/

Rob Zombie should make a movie called "Drag Me To Wakefullness", because sometimes Hell feels like a pleasant alternative.

If this trend of sexy Hallowe'en costumes continues, next year I'm dressing as a stripper pole.

I heard your rhyme, but I don't know how you expect me to cook for you after smelling your feet. Those things are worse than nerve gas.

Listen kid, you can have a Tootsie Roll instead of this 10% off coupon at House of Furs, but I hear it's going to be a tough winter.