A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

Chess is mental torture.

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.