Someone left a little present on my windshield—a $50 ticket. Merry effing Christmas!
Overheard: "This sounds like porno Christmas music."
Oklahoma: Texas' Top Hat
Jambi says, "Mekka Lekka Hi Mele Kalikimaka!"
I laughed out loud when I fell on the ice. Finally, a taste of my own medicine.
Him: "If you love peeweeherman so much why don't you marry him?" Me: "OKAY!"
I love ham cigars!
I'm at Area 51 getting my goth on. End transmission.
You sure have big ol' bocce balls in them there britches.