if i had these clothes i would never take them off

as stated earlier on facebook "the worst part about being hilarious is that it makes everyone else significantly less funny"

remember my brief stint in organized, russian crime? me neither. vodka does that

titties like socks full of nickels

traded my big butt for some cookies

friend got quarantined for a week because he has mrsa. he has been at my house for weeks scratching his infection and touching everything

'wa da ta' for five points