I'll be hiring a professional forcefem and forcemasc hypnotist. Whoever turns me first will win $10,000. They will sit on either side of me and talk over one another in increasing frustration until the sexual tension is too much and they make out with one another on the floor. I shake my head and walk away, smirking knowingly. Nice try, suckers...

Getting my first paycheck soon!

I hate Gonzo due to personal trauma and dark kin memories, but I can't help but wonder how that big mupping nose would feel amongst my insides! Now that Kerm's been made into ashes (Rest in peace, 2002-2024) I feel almost sinful stirrings for other muppets.. A new partner would be nice..

God. He's so fucking sexy ohh.. I need to pin him down and ravage him

I think KFC is my second favorite three letter acronym after CBT, which stands for Cognative Behavioral Torture

I had to delete that post. People need to learn respect and privacy. INSANE

Stupid Internet Idiots and their stupid internet things. Can't they tell when someone is having a personal moment?

Clocked in, Cock out!

Kentucky Fried Christ.
I hold a chicken by the neck.
He died for my sinful gluttony;
I tear at him with my dull human teeth
and drink his chemical blood, I thank him through mouthfuls of greasy skin
for his perfect
sacrifice.

Stupid mother made me get a job as punishment for giving my grandma a concussion (BY MISTAKE.)