Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mother, seconds upon meeting me, gave me a hug, smiled at me, and said:

Today, I locked my keys in my car and called AAA. He got out to take a look at my car, and he locked himself out of his own car with his

Today, I went to go meet my new upstairs neighbor, only to find out nobody actually moved in. The noises that have been coming from up there

Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike

Today, I spent all day organizing a list of electronic parts for my boss. I found the easiest way was to color problem parts in the

Today, I learned I have a severe sinus infection, my body really can't handle antibiotics, and I can projectile vomit out my nose. Not sure

Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our

Today, I went skiing. A snowboarder fell in front of me, forcing me to swerve around him, off of a cliff into sharp rocks and trees. I

Today, I was saying goodbye to my 5 year old son before dropping him at my mom's, as I was leaving for two days, and told him I would miss

Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes.