"If I ever get colon cancer I'm buying that shirt."

Pizza hut is the woods of the fast food world

I just wanna be a crab so bad man

Just woke up a few minutes ago, currently it’s 3:30. When I first woke up I was gonna plurk something absolutely crazy but I forgot it by the time I got the app open so just pretend I’m a mad genius.

We use too much wax in the modern world

I’m lost at sea. All I have to play is golf on my wii

Gonna be in a City of Mist game. Pretty plurked about it

Dropped my phone and went through every stage of grief before seeing it was fine and then just being annoyed.

I love jelly

Was just called a goober. My life is over I’m committing suicide at dawn ama