I used to sell security alarms door to door, and I was really good at it. If no one was home, I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.

Calling someone a subpar golfer is very confusing.

I've come to the conclusion that my Alexa is just another pet by how often I have to tell her no every day.

Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.

ugh

Yawn!

I recently bumped into the guy that sold me an antique globe. It's a small world.

If 2020 had a flavor. It would be orange juice and toothpaste.

When this #covid19 BS is all over, or even before... we need to make laws to never shut down our country like this unconstitutional way we have done the past 2 months again! Soon when I retire, I'll dedicate myself to this cause!

Practice physical distancing and not social distancing!