M just now; "old ladies love mOvies about hookers"

There is a mouse in my file cabinet.

Jumbotron close ups are no ones friend.

Where the hell is the $9 beer guy? Mama needs some suds.

Just spent $75 on a tee shirt and sweat shirt and one screeched YOU R ThE BEST MOMMY EVAH!

Standing in the line to take M to a concert. Forgot my ear plugs. Damn.

On case you were wondering, 9mm ammo won't explode if you run it through the dryer.

8 1/2hrs into my day. Just discovered my shirt is not opaque. Awesome.

Reason 4,312 that I drink too much; shopping with teenagers.

Fixin' to fry me up a turkey! Dangerous and delicious!