There shud b a contest on eating stiff breaded fried chicken leftovers. Winner will b based on max distance it flies off your plate

I wonder if taking a cold shower during a fever is like putting gravy on a sizzling plate?

2day I'm forced to wear da tightest purple shirt ever in entire my life. Apparently da tightness can b arousing.

I am doing everybody a favor by keeping my car filthy. Because each time I get a carwash it rains. hard.

Companies must unite against AH1N1! Ask your infected employees 2 setup meetings with your competitors.

when they put d thermal camera @ the lobby there should be a sign dat confirms if u are "HOT" or "NOT"

twiddling his fingers wondering why nobody showed up for his meeting...

wife says i look like Nacho Libre when I don't use the hairdryer

" !!!... The weekend's over?!?"

nauseated after seeing this thisiswhyyourefat.com