The secret of happiness is to make others believe they are the cause of it.

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

So little time and so little to do.

I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.
Oscar Levant

I once said cynically of a politician, 'He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.'

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

I am no more humble than my talents require.