"Does February March...?" "No..., but April May."

The awkward moment when you are on a bike and get hit by a car..... a parked car

Have you ever wanted to ask a question but you didn't because you knew in your heart that you wouldn't be able to handle the answer?

GRANDPA: "Go hide, your teacher is here because you skipped school today!" ME: "YOU go hide. I told her you were DEAD!"

I ask Google the questions I'm too scared to ask other people.

Emergency call: "911, What is your emergency?" "Two girls are fighting over me!" "So what's the problem sir?" "The ugly one is winning.."”

Me: Ah, my hair is actually straight today! Rain: LOL, no it's not.

Despite being the star of Jurassic Park, the T-Rex did not live in the Jurassic Period.

Buying stuff at the store* CASHIER: "Are you buying all these? " ME: "No, I'm stealing them. I just wanted to show you first."

Never let the sadness of your past and the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present.