If you are gonna bitch about everyone in a fandom who plays the same character as you and how they play and how everyone else is the worst.
Lmao. man... remember that we all talk to one another and that your bad attitude and shitty mean girls way will catch up to you simply because other people actually use talking as a form of communication

like

I am honestly not sure how far you think you'll get doing that

But

okay

in any case, I can't say that i'm doing that great. I'm glad I had context for what was going on, but i'd be lying if i said this all didn't hurt

i know enough to know it's not really about me but jesus. knowing I was tossed away and then people took a huge steaming dump on how I play and post pretty quickly to bakerstreet

which................................... isn't even that deep guys

see the track button?

yuh

thats it

I just get an email notification when a meme goes up

I top level really quickly because I know myself enough to know if I happen upon one of the people i thread with threading with someone else I may not be in the head space to deal with it. I kinda just drop and run

i'm boggled and baffled and just a whole lotta lotta. I never had anything of this magnitude come to my front door in the entire time I played kylo/Ben

i'm gonna get to more icons soon i promise. I just stayed up literally all night as my entire fucking perception of a situation crumbled apart because i had several people come to me with the same story about .... this

vaguely gestures

I'm just sick to my stomach and I feel used. and I am, again, fairly sure that no one will ever want to rp with me again because i am "that kylo" which just isn't a great head space to be in

I'm just feeling really stupid and self conscious/ I wish i had a different brain lmao

anyway i'll be back later with more icons. probably tomorrow

I got no sleep and I crashed from my "Holy shit what the fuck are these people doing? Is this what happens when I just don't go on to plurk for months at a time??????????" feelings to an emotional blob who cannot comprehend things

h u g s

i'm also being vague for the sake of other people

If I wasn't concerned about them I'd be out here on blast tbh lmao thats the kinda person i am

and if anyone wants to feel sorry for me, don't feel sorry for me because i fucking top level on memes. Feel sorry for me because being able to post on memes and do this RP shit has been the best way I can cope with a lot of hellish circumstances

watching two kittens die, being in the middle of protests, being in the middle of several different fire storms and having shit air quality, not having health insurance and not know what the fuck i'm gonna do next, being afraid to live in this country at fucking all

I got my first hug from the six year old next door last week and it's the first time I've had a hug since I went to disneyland and hugged the character actors. and the last time I hugged someone I cared about was during christmas

haven't seen my friends for months, all of my parents (ALL FOUR) are in the high risk group for one reason or another

Also sometimes horatio whines and is sad cause I don't feed him enough

There's a whole list of things you can feel sorry for me for. you're welcom

I am very familiar with the ppl that you're speaking of. It definitely sucks and it hurts and it makes you feel bad, but honestly, it's not you.

honestly all I can say is that when person X has problems with persons A, B, C, D, E, and F... the problem might be them.

like at a certain point you realize it cannot be you, because it cannot be everyone who has had the same experience.

And as far as wg goes, as someone who has been described as 'that name' by them, god, it sucks. But like anothersadsong said, their seventh grade style bitching and moaning and backstabbing is nonsense.

And it's dumb if their problem is that you toplevel quickly.

thanks. i just really cared about both of these people. one especially i felt close to

found out they defriended me at some point on plurk and I am like "???Why"

It feels as though they were punishing me for the people i threaded with

Or they got mad because I, compassionately and privately, pointed out that they had done and said some shitty things

I think I was one of the first people they tagged

they complimented my writing and how it pushed them to write better, at one point they had tagged me in like seven different places

i knew about a lot of personal shit going on in their life and i helped walked them through how to get the help they needed and assured them that they were worth it to put themselves first

you didn't do anything wrong.

Like I don't think these are unusual things to do or make anyone obligated to me it's just like

it's not about you. clearly, clearly it is not about you.

This is how you're going to fucking treat me because i play with the people you don't like?

And on top of that you are going to fucking bitch about me anonymously on a forum you KNOW I DONT GO ON because I was stressed out to hell like a FUCKING COWARD

WHEN YOU WERENT GETTING TAGS

BECAUSE IT WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING RIOTS

AND I HAD HELICOPTORS HOVERING OVER MY APARTMENT ALL DAY ALL NIGHT

OH and people near by were getting shot by rubber bullets and tear gas was being thrown into houses

So

I don't know

maybe it makes sense I wanted to play some light hearted fluff and not smut at that very second

I could be fucking insane

But even then even given all that

they never

ever

came to me directly

period

Real life is currently VERY STRESSFUL and I'm very sorry that some people don't understand that.

I'm not sure how you can live in that delusional of a world where that actually makes sense to do as some form of conflict management, but then again i guess this is dwrp

If it makes you feel any little bit better - I was unfriended because I very politely disagreed with their assertion that people who want to ship are icky nasty gross.

And pointed out that they themselves had tagged my Ben and Rey in ONLY shipping / smut memes.

i'm just amazed given i would hear rumblings of drama popping up and occassionally i'd see other friends talking vaguely about it

and then I'd hear about shit directly from them

and like somehow it's everyone else who is filled with drama and having infighting

unsure if u know about the definition of common denominator but you know.

Gestures vaguely towards it

ANYWAY

need to get off plurk

I need to take what pathetic anxiety meds I have

I need to get my head out of here

I need more sleep

lmao I could use a hug

I could also use not everyone of my friendships with people i get relatively close to and think of as "safe" imploding

this has caused some painful cognitive dissonance to be honest

moral of the story: trust no one. get close to no one. everyone is lying to you and treat everyone like an object to receive validation from so you don't get hurt ig

I am really sorry this is still happening

hey well

If I pop up in any anon communities now

y'all know why

Cause i'm still over here has not done shit except tag into memes really fast

consider this me hugging you across the several borders; i'm sorry that this happened to you by someone you considered a friend(s).

and lol ya common denominator is.... yeah a Thing