Also checking the things I wrote down in my smol notepad last night, to see if any are things I can bundle together into one excursion's worth of Driving and Out of the House.

You can do it.

Is rent something that could move online or to auto-pay eventually? I've had some luck with using deposit by phone app to get around a bad case of noooooo, not pants before.

Although if you go that route in future make sure there aren't holds on e-deposits.

I just got an availability inquiry from Rover, and I didn't panic (unexpected!!!) but hit Y just to see what comes of it, and now I am also taking a klonopin when I take my BP meds so I can take my ADHD meds.

I.

I am not the one who was supposed to be in charge of renting. The entire Having Money For Living Expenses is an explanation that I try very hard not to let devolve into screaming teakettle yelling, but I often fail. If I had been in any way in control of or responsible for or allowed access to the account (or even just an awareness of its balance!) the lump

sum house sale money went into, I would have multiplied the amount of our rent by the months in our lease, then taken that sum out and put it into its own account, that no one had a card to, and set up automatic bill pay of rent$ on the first of the month. The same for anything else coming out a set amount each month. Then, whatever was left would be the

WELP NOW ITS ALL GONE money. But hey, we'd have guaranteed rent through the end of the lease! That is not what happened.

I am paying this month using the one child support payment I get a year that's OVER $200 at a time, and counts towards lowering the total owed in arrears. I'm doing it, because if I don't, by the 9th the rent is up to $1000 and we start getting texts, which I honestly don't care about anymore. Because I was going to save this so I could have a cushion on

the two trips I'm taking in May - one fun, that I've been paying off on a layaway plan for MONTHS, and just zeroed out the balance of last month, and one fun but HOPEFULLY also working, if I hear back from them. OR, putting towards the new laptop I'm DESPERATELY in need of, and which I was promised would get taken care of with some of the house money.

"Welp, sorry I didn't have the spoons for that before the money ran out."

I was venting at Rue over that the other day, cause I was in my mom's office looking at her new laptop, overhearing Evie playing on hers (bought in Christmas or Black Friday sales), and just went - god, can I just be really selfish & petty for ONE MINUTE & then move on

Which turned into, here's the last several years of birthdays and winter holidays gifts I didn't get you, I can buy you a $X laptop, & me asking - if it was a serious offer - if she'd be comfortable with that being part of a pool, cause HERE ARE THE HARD AND FAST NO EXCEPTION OR SUBSTITUTION REQUIREMENTS & i have no idea what that would be now?

The last one I got new was in MA, fried its brain, fried a cooling fan, and has been replaced with the saddest series of second-string hand-me-downs - for which I'm grateful! They all work!

... There's been a whole lot of really fantastic stuff that's happened over the last year, but it's also been a MASSIVE screaming shitshow that I don't even know HOW to unpack or even begin to deal with, except in freak fits and starts like this.

THE CHECK IS WRITTEN, AND HAS BEEN RETURNED TO MY BAG. Along with the copy of the lease with the account # I gets deposited into.

Oh my god just reading that I feel my blood pressure rising.

It sounds like a large pile of shit beyond your control ended up as your responsibility, which is the worst.

With extra worst because, unlike feckless college roommates, these are people you actually give a shit about so you can't just be like SUCKS TO BE YOU and moonwalk away.

YOOOOOOOOOOOO.

I don't need to worry about being quiet & not waking bat when I go by to deliver cat food, a bigger shitbox, and look for the power adapter. Because apparently, a friend asked on FB for someone to help get adult today, & offered gas money.. So bat's taking a day trip to Austin!

Which - w/e, I don't care that it's without me specifically, so much as I didn't reach out to my spouse for help adulting, because I know this week's been a real shitshow & there was no way. So I was planning on going over to deliver cat things, check in, spend time with a human i do generally prefer the company of others cause I know knew I was solo!

We talked briefly on the phone, and I feel better having gotten some of the weird bullshit jangly out of my system. STILL wrestling with bank interfaces to make sure exactly the rent money is in the account with the checkbook, AND my mom has been appraised of how much she'd said she was good for paying back, last times I got groceries/Easter stuff.

You shouldn't have to deal with this level of bs, but you are dealing like a pro.

I am incredibly extra proud of myself, because at one point "you drive to phoenix whenever you feel like it!" was flung, and my response was, "yes but that's the ONLY PLACE I drive!" & the conversation shifted away. But I was a mature and responsible adult, who deposited the check after all and has NOT yet taken off to Phoenix. Partly as an up yours,

But also because one of my BEST FRIENDS from grade school & high school, her husband (friends since HS) & their three fucking adorable muppets are going to be there this week.

AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE TOO. But then all the WHOOPS FUCKED OURSELVES THERE, DIDN'T WE? started, so I never bought tickets.

Which are now way our of reasonable, but gas isn't. And, tomorrow is my buddy Tom with the Stupidly Gorgeous Eyebrows' 35th birthday.

Reasonably, I should keep being an obnoxiously responsible if slightly sulky adult, and not do it. But Ugh.

(Also, have I obnoxiously showed you pictures of Tom's stupid face and excellent eyebrows and disgusting eyelashes and FRECKLES, on a grown-ass man. Who is, like, Kez-art level talented, which is the worst. I hate him. I'm obscenely lucky he's friends with me.

I do not think I have seen these eyebrows, or the human to which they are attached.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh as soon as I am parked at the leather store & not a light, I will dedicate a new thread. & friends lock to you three.

Apparently I was VERY NEARLY THERE, but the last tiny bit of turning was OUTRAGEOUSLY COMPLICATED. I missed it, and three U-Turns.

I really needed to fix my GPS language settings.

o7

Do not Plurk and drive!

I am VERY strict about only at red lights, with one eye on em.

You are still getting the Wynface, but all right. JUST BE SAFE.

STATIONARY PLURKING.

GOOD

I just noticed I have the most nerdtastic backdrop ever.

Nah, the battle mats are stowed out of view.

Could be nerdier.

This is true. I think they're currently rolled up in a bag in the storage room, after Saint realized that the whiteboard he bought for school can also be used for tabletop.

OKAY MY DARLINGS. Google maps finally shows the way home as all green, so I shall RETURN SHORTLY.

I'd say don't have fun without me, but I'd rather: HAVE FUN WITH ME WHEN I GET BACK.

Ciao, bella!