its sad when you're wow guild keeps telling you how much they missed you when you've been there

it was like an out of body experience i guess!! physically i was there going through the motions and pressing the buttons and slurring absentminded responses in mumble

but my mind was blitz'd and so far gone

tonight they were like "wow jupi you sound so clear and lucid" so i was thinking oh is my mic working better and they were like "no you just sound more aware and like your old self"

i never drank at work but as soon as i clocked out id usually take my first shot of whiskey on the way home and depending what time i got off I'd have anywhere between6-12 shots of whiskey a night

yeah it struck me lmao like not in a bad or hurtful way but it got me thinking like wow damn

HUGS..................

HUG ALSO

that's kind of... like really sweet of them imo

like that they've been playing with you and stuff but they can tell you haven't been yourself lately

like that sounds like it'd feel simultaneously upsetting but kinda happy too

yeah true like i wasn't idk offended or even upset by it? i was upset in the way like 'wow here i was thinking these people wouldn't give a fuck and would let me self destruct until they had to kick me'

but instead they just say they missed me

random people over the past week have whispered me too, more and more people reaching out. at first i mostly talked to one about it but it hit a point where like

everyone was aware

i never spoke about it but everyone knew i was shitfaced all the time and knew i was miserable

instead of kicking me i got people reaching out and one guy was like 'i wanna help, i'll help you find meetings and if you can't pick one i'll pick one for you. i'd even call them to let them know you

were coming if you were scared if you want'

and i think those moments are what're driving me like if these people are willng to try for a shithead like me

then i should try

you have such good friends ;;