how the fuck can someone who clearly cares and gives a shit as much as my mom does just.

just be SO FUCKING UNAWARE

of the impact her comments and bitching and just general demeanor have on people

like, I have said dozens of times that I Can Not Handle all of her bitching about how awful work is and how awful life is and how pissed and frustrated she is

but she NEVER hesitates to just go off to me on whatever is wrong.

do I have to outright say "stop doing this or we can't talk about things?"

I don't like that. I did that before with Allison's influence and know it's not a good idea but I don't fucking know what to say to make her just STOP.

it...i don't know what it is that's going on that makes it a bad idea, or what exactly the problem is when she does it—and you don't have to tell me if you'd rather not—but

in my experience sometimes (not always) when people who i know care keep doing something really upsetting it is because they don't know how much of a problem it is?

i mean, i don't know if you already tried that.

I dunno, it was - it was just like, there were legitimate problems with my parents, particularly my mom, and how there was a lot of... burdens that I had to pick up when I was younger.

And I got really frustrated at times, particularly with how things were when I was married... and Al kinda pushed/encouraged those things, and it led to me not talking with my parents for a while.

and it wasn't really all that healthy. but as for telling them, usually it doesn't stick when I flip out on them.

like, it came up tonight and I said a lot of this and I don't know how long it'll last for - but I can't really get a lot of separation because I don't have much financial independence so, just. bleh.

ah. :< i'm sorry.

that's...difficult. i don't really know what to say, but you have my sympathies, for whatever that's worth.

thank you. it helps, it really does.