So I come home after a long night of drinking, walk down the hall, and am greeted by a HUGE roach camping out on the wall. I would have ran and grabbed a shoe to kill it, but it was sitting on the wall next to
my parents' bedroom, where my dad is currently sleeping. Of course, the giant SMACK sound I would have made would have woken him up, and in my half-asleep stupor I decided I would deal with it later
I go to the bathroom, come back out and very carefully peer over to the wall where he was sitting.............................aaaaand of course he's gone. So it's super dark in my house and I'm running around
with only the light of my iPad to try and find this fucking roach. GUESS WHERE I FINALLY FOUND HIM
Sitting right there ON TOP of my bedroom doorframe, peering down at me like, "fuck you." You guys have no idea. I almost threw up I was so scared. I am afraid of every single bug on the planet
So I finally realize a measly flip-flop isn't going to be enough to kill this motherfucker, so I bring out the big guns.....the hairspray. Apparently I forgot that roaches are immune to like everything
I'm afraid to go to sleep now because I feel like he's got an army of them coming after me in my sleep. I FUCKING HATE BUGS YOU GUYS 
At least his hair will be styled nicely when he eats your soul.