^

assumes there is a certain level of getting-shit-done for yourself... but I have a shitload of parental support so its hard to imagine

I will mention that my parents tend to "adopt strays" and lend a hand to my friends who have shitty/absentee parents, but idk if this is the same as a nonsupportive parent

If I had blindly supportive parents, my writing would probably be worse. I remember writing a real piece of shit, and I showed my parents; I was young and stupid. My stepdad told me it was no good very bluntly.

No 'keep trying,' no 'it's getting there,' no 'well this stuff is good' or 'your heart is in the right place.' Just a simple 'no.'

Not even blindly supportive, just 'this isn't good' and 'You shouldn't go to school for writing.'

But I went to a poetry reading, and I read some published or poems forthcoming in publication. I liked the poems but hate how I can't read worth a damn. Another girl (my age?) read to us and her parents.

She read two poems that really stunk. Stunk in a sort of didactic "We are doomed and terrible people" way. Her parents suggested that she read those poems. I imagined, if my parents were supportive,

they might have told me to read those poems too.

I like to think because of a good deal of distance between the things I liked to do and my parents involvement in my life, I grew independently. I relied on strangers, professors, work I admired, myself.

I sought to emulate the works I read and the things I liked, not the things my parents liked (which was thankfully nothing I ever wrote).

This doesn't fully account for the length of time I've been writing, but it certainly accounts for my paranoia, my inner editor, and my tendency to open a poem over and over until I find something in it I hate

This is not everyone's story, but I know that for as much as I may have missed out on feelings of pride for even the smallest efforts, I gained a lot in cold truth.

Holy hell, I wrote a lot.

Holy hell indeed..