okay so some fic author interpreted ford "getting an interdimensional language translator" as "getting it implanted in his head like the metal plate" and I Can't Stop Thinking About It
The original fic had the translator breaking and him freaking out because he forgot how to speak English after 30 years of being exposed to dozens of other languages

and that is Such a fun concept to play around with

"fun" as in "heartbreaking" because Dang my guy really was homeless in completely alien worlds for three decades, huh

Right now I'm reading about mullet!Stan trying drag and it's a very abrupt tone change

Well we don't know he was homeless the whole time

Also The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy universe has a species of fish that feeds off of understanding so if you put it in your ear it will translate any language to you and it's like a kinda gross symbiotic relationship
Maybe Ford got a fish

oh dear that IS heartbreaking...

He was traveling the whole time, so in my head, staying somewhere doesn't necessarily equal having a home there. Like Stan wouldn't call that motel "home"
Oh interesting. Not sure Ford would like the texture of an ear fish but it could happen