It began technically a few nights ago. Kid and I sit down to plot out the week

Wednesday this week I had a crown and a filling. Thursday it was my mom’s birthday

Kid has a cookie contest she wants to win on Sunday so she wanted all day Saturday to bake and Friday to shop for ingredients

Mom on Thursday goes “I’ll take you over on Friday while Allison is at work”

So we get in late Thursday evening. I have a crazy Friday of work to do, to the point where I collapse at 5pm and sleep, wake up at 10pm and do loads of work until 5am this morning where I collapse next to my husband and two cats

Sergio wakes me up at 8 to help pill Frankie. Tells me he can go get her medicine from the vet since I slept through the call on Friday. I say awesome. I fall back to sleep

And I tell him distinctly, as a reminder; LET THE KIDS HAVE THE KITCHEN

Do not attempt to help them. They want to do this themselves

I wake up at 8:30 to my phone going off near my ear. My mom’s furniture guy is there and trying to bring a mattress in and wants direction. I say I’ll be over in five. He says no, just tell your mom to open the door

Call mom. Mom goes wtf I know, why are they calling you? Idk. Do you need me to come over? No? Okay

fall back asleep

Phone goes off at 9:30

Sergio: hey I took your car to run errands and I’m stuck because it won’t start

Shit. Do you need me to come get you??

Sergio: no I called AAA

Me: okay. Lemme know if you need me

Shimmy out of bed on a few hours of sleep.

Sergio; AAA guy is here says it’s not the battery

Me: no shit. I know what it is, it’s the same issue we have had with this car.

Sergio: they’re towing it, can you come get me

Me: sure where are you?

Sergio: route 110 market basket

Me: (throws on a coat, goes downstairs. Tries to start Sergio’s car. The car door signal won’t shut off. Run around the car twice slamming all the doors. No go. Drive to market basket with beeping for 20 minutes)

Me: Sergio where ar: you?

Sergio; I’m at the (town) market basket

Me: I’m at the wrong market basket. Also your car is giving me shit

Sergio: try the trunk, my car likes to beep like that when the windshield scraper is jammed

Sure enough that fixes it. Drive to other market basket

Find husband wandering around Party City by himself. Hug, kiss, get him in the car and drive to go pick up Frankie’s meds

Me: okay so we can get my mom’s car so you can go to your guitar lesson and I can be around in case the kids need the SUV

Sergio: got it. Oh man I wonder how they’re going to get the car up on the pick up when I didn’t leave the key

Me: ...what

Sergio: yeah I have your key

Me: Sergio you said the AAA guy came

Sergio yeah but he only had a pick up so there wasn’t room to tow your car

Me: so my car is still at Market Basket?!

Sergio; yes.....

Me: Sergio the first rule of AAA is you’re supposed to STAY WITH THE CAR

We turnaround. Go back. Find the car tucked in tight against other cars

Me:
Okay let’s at least put this thing in neutral and get it into position for a tow truck

Sergio:
Okay

Luckily there’s an empty spot next to us once a lady leaves so we have room to position the car sideways

UNFORTUNATELY there was a car behind that lady. That car can pull out on the other side. Instead sees two people with a car with hazard lights carefully maneuvering it into position and decides she’s gonna do the “pull through” method of driving her car straight through. Right at my husband who is half in and out of the driver side door guiding the car

And I start screaming. I have never screamed at a stranger in public

I scream at her and go WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

YOU ALMOST HIT MY HUSBAND

She waves at us. Oblivious . Keeps coming at us

She doesn’t understand how pissed and scared I am that she almost ran over him going 10’miles an hour in a party city parking lot because it was slightly more convenient than backing out the other way

We get the car in position. It’s 11:30. His guitar lesson is in half an hour. I say you take the SUV, give me your phone and AAA card and I’ll give you mine. Sergio takes Frankie’s meds and leaves

I sit for about 20 minutes and make sure the tow truck guys are settled and then call my mom to come get me.

We eat lunch. She drives me to her house so I can help her put sheets on her new bed

I say “tell Sergio to come get me when he’s done with guitar” and fall asleep on Mom’s couch

Wake up. Head back. It’s 2pm

Come home. Kid is pissed at me but won’t say why. I say “okay come get me if you need” and sit down on the couch

Go wash dishes because I promised Kid I would do that for them if they made the cookies. They have a pretty good set up

Dishes knock me out, I take another nap.

Sergio heads to bed.

I’m up at 9, meet the kids in the kitchen and find out that;

1. She’s mad at me because the thing I asked her if she wanted to go to (DCF party) that she insisted she didn’t want, now she did but I wasn’t there to drive her

2. She’s mad at Sergio because Sergio came in to make a pepper flake meal for himself next to their open bowl of cookie batter and she doesn’t know if it affected it

3. She was counting out 14 cups of flour and Sergio interrupted her and that took forever to recount

4. Sergio also began opening cans of cat food next to where she was working and the smell made it into the kitchen

5. She was so pissed that she took Boyfriend and left the house unannounced and went to my mom’s for dinner

And I was passed out on the couch and Sergio didn’t fucking notice despite assuring me he’d take care of the kids

He did take them to Michael’s at some point and kid got pissed because I’m the only one who understands what confetti is

And Sergioand the clerk had no idea what she was trying to describe

But I did get to read some very fun passive aggressive notes written by the kids saying PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH OR TAKE PICTURES of half the stuff in the fridge. And they assured me they wrote that for Sergio

We talked it out for an hour, went to 7-11 to get more eggs and milk at 11pm and then they made me try their Puerto Rican eggnog with rum in it so guess who’s drunk and wired at 1am

holy SHIT, everyone needs to give you a BREAK

jesus woman >.<

I hope you get a calm tomorrow

At least Frankie is being comforting by showing me her butthole in solidarity I guess

Oh also while we were picking up Frankie’s meds, Sergio goes

“I’ll pay to get the car detailed”

“Why?”

He says “I might have bled on the seat” and holds up his BLOOD SOAKED HAND

“What the fuck happened?! “

“My skin gets dry!”

Oh and while Kid and Boyfriend were walking home from my mom’s place there was a diarrhea incident so somewhere in Lowell in a bush there’s a nasty surprise because it was an instant thing apparently. And a witness so idk if we’re gonna get indecent exposure charges

Asked if they were okay, and yes. Just embarrassed they couldn’t find a place quick enough

/all the hugs

omfg Allison <3

Oof... Allison...

Yiiiikes. I hope you get a chance to chill after all that.

even when you're taking a break day you don't get a break...

Holy fuck

Yeah my back hurt all day from pushing my car. :|