treating myself to pizza tonight because the end is in sight at work, and having to act at least somewhat upbeat for my mother's sake while looking after her is kind of exhausting
growing up with a parent very visibly struggling with major depression sucks. dramatically simplyfing the situation but still. turns out it also sucks to have to deal with the other parent having grief-depression when you're an adult
my stepfather was such a disruptive black hole, it really is a huge change to not have someone in the house who might have an emergency at any second, or who's always loud and inconsiderate
but it's very... I mean there were times when I was a kid I had to get my mom's meds for her and such (which looking back was arguably more laziness on her part not wanting to come upstairs but that's a whole other can of worms)
I'm finding it's somewhat exhausting to feel the need to check, especially at night, if she's taken her meds. if she's eaten anything, if she's staying hydrated. if she's taken her muscle relaxer for the leg pain
blah I would like the option to not engage with today and just snuggle up with tea and my comfy blanket and farm candy in Destiny. 😑 but alas it's another blackout week at work so I just have to power through
the blahs that kicked up before bed last night decided to carry over to this morning, and that I feel like I'm grumbling about nothing important when other people have more valid reasons for not feeling it is not helping