treating myself to pizza tonight because the end is in sight at work, and having to act at least somewhat upbeat for my mother's sake while looking after her is kind of exhausting
latest #27
growing up with a parent very visibly struggling with major depression sucks. dramatically simplyfing the situation but still. turns out it also sucks to have to deal with the other parent having grief-depression when you're an adult
at least it hasn't been every day but I think now that all the immediate stuff is taken care of she doesn't quite know what to do with herself
my stepfather was such a disruptive black hole, it really is a huge change to not have someone in the house who might have an emergency at any second, or who's always loud and inconsiderate
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but it's very... I mean there were times when I was a kid I had to get my mom's meds for her and such (which looking back was arguably more laziness on her part not wanting to come upstairs but that's a whole other can of worms)
I'm finding it's somewhat exhausting to feel the need to check, especially at night, if she's taken her meds. if she's eaten anything, if she's staying hydrated. if she's taken her muscle relaxer for the leg pain
and it's just a new strange vibe which doesn't help with some background worries
and I'm not stressing tonight. just going to unwind. ideally
it·reaches·out
1 weeks ago
distracted myself with Destiny and mindless bounties and seasonal stuff. maybe tomorrow I'll actually write
as I stare at the cobwebs on my inbox and CR
it·reaches·out
1 weeks ago
****

blah I would like the option to not engage with today and just snuggle up with tea and my comfy blanket and farm candy in Destiny. 😑 but alas it's another blackout week at work so I just have to power through
the blahs that kicked up before bed last night decided to carry over to this morning, and that I feel like I'm grumbling about nothing important when other people have more valid reasons for not feeling it is not helping
idk why I'm whining here other than an attempt at hoping if the words leave my head they'll stay out
escapism just sounds nice today. can't even blame it on my own depression or anxiety kicking up majorly
it·reaches·out
1 weeks ago @Edit 1 weeks ago
your reasons are valid too
lol early morning me knew what she was talking about
just getting increasingly aggravated at work
we've reached the stage of busy season where I'm cursing at and flipping off outlook notifications lol
I can't believe it's barely 9am, today is dragging worse than yesterday and Monday
and apparently some anxiety is kicking around too because I caught myself doing one of my tells. ugh
just have to make it through this week. and next. it should start dying down Thanksgiving week... altho they're launching 2 new things next month so
too bad home is just /gestures vaguely
couldn't do my soft Hozier themed station this morning, had to switch over to metal lol
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