For many years, I'd think, "Should I be selfish for my birthday?"

There was always a bitter or sad part (depending on who/what was going on), that made me wonder if I should "ask" for something I can only ask then (watch/listen/etc what I want), but it'd make me

feel bad to feel like I only have a say once a year and what if I waste that moment(s) with the "wrong" sharing and then have another year to wait?

Asking for gifts is something y'wanna do on some level if someone HAS the means (money or ability to create), but when you

(aka me in this case) can't even do something for OTHERS, it feels wrong. Not everyone agrees with that, but yeah.

Then last year, my brother passes a month before my birthday. Didn't find out until a few days after he passed, but the passing was still a month

before my birthday.

So. I've talked about this before with yet another association with that date.

I guess for this year I can hope that Fredday gets enough $$ in his GFM to order it before my birthday and maybe my mom gets a hiring offer... before... it won't

happen before my birthday with holiday, but still. IDK.

I feel so.

It's not even the day yet. But.

There is nothing wrong with wanting something on your birthday or any day for that matter. We all deserve something, and so do you.