Oh sweet Christ I'm sorry to anyone putting up with Greed
He is like that fuck boy that is your constant fuck boy and he cares. But it's in that weird, kind of alien way he does
Crazy good sex and chaos energy but Blitz would probably struggle with any actual care and then end up doing something stupid like stealing his credit cards and blowing money on horse riding lessons
ABSOLUTELY crazy, good, and room-destroying fucking. Greed also is bad with being a people, but he uh. Tries.
To be honest he wouldn't even be mad! He'd just look at his card like, "Did I go ride a horse? When the fuck did I do that?" Or if he found out he's would just LAUGH his ass off
Cute man, cute. Next time just like. Ask for cash, it's fine
Nanami is trying so hard to make it something
He is HE IS DOING A GREAT JOB and greed appreciates all the effort. He really likes Nanami
But he also can't help being a turd sometimes. It's his love language
Greed: fuckboy himbo that will always make time for people solo if they need him
Also Greed: goes out until 5am with God only knows what
A hot as fuck dumpster fire! They would literally bang on every surface in heaven and hell but when it gets ugly, it’ll get ugly because she doesn’t trust easy. Also, it would never be official because tied down is gross, and she would absolutely bring other bitches to the bedroom for funsies: men, women, non-humans. Dinner’s ready you filthy bastard
apparently they are doing that now. or at least lucifer realizes they are. cant wait for him to actually try to be hot in front of greed instead of just being hot on accident
OK skids back here for a quick break from work
wafflicious Greed is going to take him PLACES get him to let loose because the man needs it like. Yesterday. Also if he finds out he doesn't drive, immediately like
"Hold that thought handsome." DISAPPEARS loud scraping sounds, engine wheezing and he reappears with one, busted window car
Greed tail wagging like: TONIGHT WE DRIVE
ceedawkes SO MANY NIGHTS OF GREED sitting purposely close to that shitty piano and just drinking his scotch like. Watching Angel work his fucking magic
Also Greed purposely going to heaven to find a piano mechanic? Worker? Keys guy? Fixer upper? To get it checked on once every month
Nanami knows because there is a receipt but he is going to swear his accountant to absolute secrecy
"Don't say anything and I'll throw in a bonus for you ok just. Shh. Sh sh sh."
greed omg
![](https://emos.plurk.com/d905c1101f107fa71e55be83d20526ab_w48_h48.gif)
angel composing a song for him shhh
accessories OH GOD YEAH there is no "us" between them more like. An arrangement. Like will he show up if she's in the shit? Yeah. Will they ever talk about it? No. Will he happily do a shuffle to this orgy party, tail buzzing with delight? Yes
If someone fucks with her, he will grab the mother fucker and be very like, "AHAHAHA don't."
tacce both of them are IDIOTS and I love this for them. Greed is just mentally tap dancing like "WHAT do you give the devil like. Does he want this thing? Or this thing?" Insert AOL dial up noises as he tries to figure it out
SLAPS HANDS on table. Intentionally hot devil make a sin grin from ear to ear
Greed likes Lucifer ok. He's fun to be around
Greed trying to get Nanami to loosen up is going to be amazing
Nanami needs it so bad. Just let loose, go a little wild, it's ok. This is sin incarnate you're out with. Like he's gunna give a shit about anything you do
SHSJDHD GOD LUCIFER the king of looking fine as hell
Greed in all leather like: ah. WELL uhm
Joyful rattlesnake noises
Slides back in here (yes I have work shit to do but I'm being a turd)
For anyone who does date Greed, depending on how things go down, he might share little pieces of his 200 years. Nothing too serious unless the situation called for it but like
Here's a dance from Drachma he remembers from the 1800s. Here's a good that's kind of like Xingese noodles that him and Ling used to eat.
Look at his collection of cats
Animals hates him in Dublith, he can hold on now, look at it that's cool as shit
Also stuff. Be prepared for stuff
Did he steal part of a pay phone for you and now it doesn't work? Yes but it also had graffiti on it he'd thought you'd like
Or this weird eye-pad he found. What does it do? He doesn't know but it's got a mirror on it
... Nanami and Lucifer clearly need to share tailor info
wafflicious: unfortunately lucifer just poofs into his clothing bc angel magic. he should probably use a real tailor for reasons though. comes up with a tailor in heaven that painstakingly makes his red suits
also greed in all leather is hot ok
lucifer nanami deal that's just aesthetic magic
Nanami has had to get stuff custom made because of his wings
so he probably knows at least one tailor
oh my god a deal so nanami could just poof into his ideal outfit whenever he wanted is so funny help
yeah lucifer can put his wings away so he..........does at almost all times
ohhh... that does sound tempting :|a
ITD BE CUTE idk what lucifer would want in return. but he did publicly make an insanely easy and generous deal to beetlejuice on the network for his name back so its out there hes wheeling and dealing a lil
noooo he's not cute!! he's terrible and you should be mad!
uh huh UH HUH yeah yeah yeah
Greed just picking his ear like: sure buddy. Here's $200
texts Fizz like "is this what a sugar daddy is??"
fizz, considering: there are many kinds of sugar daddy so im going with yes
sure sounds like a sugar daddy to me-
Ok this is my partner's fault for linking me this image
but Greed basically on every date because he doesn't know what dates really are
(I've been losing it for 5 minutes)
THONG SONG damn, that takes me back
Making me look at my Richard Cheese playlist..
This is alluding to something. It may or may not happen. It's slightly suggestive
So like I'll just leave it here
Thank you FMA fandom for knowing what Greed is about
You usually do some weird ass shit but sometimes you deliver
Tony idk if you know this but Greed and Scar used to be mashed together a lot in the really early FMA promos because they were the only main characters that didn't have some other important main character CR
I gotta see if I can find some of the artwork
looks at seras and envy
well envy's out
if seras wants a date with greed it's going to be ordering in and demanding an entire evening's worth of his attention
girl whhy are you not already demanding this
He doesn't know how this whole thing WORKS
And he's like AHAHHAHHA my avarice is hilarious right? I just want stuff
(he wants them all and he's stupid. Just be DEMANDING)
And she'll get all his attention
she is learning how to demand things
When he is with someone solo? For his entire focus
since everyone else is doing it, she might as well
Except if he sees something he wants like. Not a person but an actual thing
Walking along, head on swivel
There's a blinky light in a shop window and he needs it
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