Oh sweet Christ I'm sorry to anyone putting up with Greed

He is like that fuck boy that is your constant fuck boy and he cares. But it's in that weird, kind of alien way he does

Also: he's a wild man

Crazy good sex and chaos energy but Blitz would probably struggle with any actual care and then end up doing something stupid like stealing his credit cards and blowing money on horse riding lessons

ABSOLUTELY crazy, good, and room-destroying fucking. Greed also is bad with being a people, but he uh. Tries.

To be honest he wouldn't even be mad! He'd just look at his card like, "Did I go ride a horse? When the fuck did I do that?" Or if he found out he's would just LAUGH his ass off

Cute man, cute. Next time just like. Ask for cash, it's fine

Nanami is trying so hard to make it something

He is HE IS DOING A GREAT JOB and greed appreciates all the effort. He really likes Nanami

But he also can't help being a turd sometimes. It's his love language

Greed: fuckboy himbo that will always make time for people solo if they need him

Also Greed: goes out until 5am with God only knows what

SELFISH nasty creature

A hot as fuck dumpster fire! They would literally bang on every surface in heaven and hell but when it gets ugly, it’ll get ugly because she doesn’t trust easy. Also, it would never be official because tied down is gross, and she would absolutely bring other bitches to the bedroom for funsies: men, women, non-humans. Dinner’s ready you filthy bastard

hot

tbh

apparently they are doing that now. or at least lucifer realizes they are. cant wait for him to actually try to be hot in front of greed instead of just being hot on accident

OK skids back here for a quick break from work

wafflicious Greed is going to take him PLACES get him to let loose because the man needs it like. Yesterday. Also if he finds out he doesn't drive, immediately like

"Hold that thought handsome." DISAPPEARS loud scraping sounds, engine wheezing and he reappears with one, busted window car

Greed tail wagging like: TONIGHT WE DRIVE

ceedawkes SO MANY NIGHTS OF GREED sitting purposely close to that shitty piano and just drinking his scotch like. Watching Angel work his fucking magic

Also Greed purposely going to heaven to find a piano mechanic? Worker? Keys guy? Fixer upper? To get it checked on once every month

Nanami knows because there is a receipt but he is going to swear his accountant to absolute secrecy

"Don't say anything and I'll throw in a bonus for you ok just. Shh. Sh sh sh."

greed omg angel composing a song for him shhh

accessories OH GOD YEAH there is no "us" between them more like. An arrangement. Like will he show up if she's in the shit? Yeah. Will they ever talk about it? No. Will he happily do a shuffle to this orgy party, tail buzzing with delight? Yes

If someone fucks with her, he will grab the mother fucker and be very like, "AHAHAHA don't."

tacce both of them are IDIOTS and I love this for them. Greed is just mentally tap dancing like "WHAT do you give the devil like. Does he want this thing? Or this thing?" Insert AOL dial up noises as he tries to figure it out

SLAPS HANDS on table. Intentionally hot devil make a sin grin from ear to ear

Greed likes Lucifer ok. He's fun to be around

ceedawkes YELLING SJDJDH

Greed trying to get Nanami to loosen up is going to be amazing

rolls up like this and fucking knows all about it

Nanami needs it so bad. Just let loose, go a little wild, it's ok. This is sin incarnate you're out with. Like he's gunna give a shit about anything you do

SHSJDHD GOD LUCIFER the king of looking fine as hell

Greed in all leather like: ah. WELL uhm

Joyful rattlesnake noises

Slides back in here (yes I have work shit to do but I'm being a turd)

For anyone who does date Greed, depending on how things go down, he might share little pieces of his 200 years. Nothing too serious unless the situation called for it but like

Here's a dance from Drachma he remembers from the 1800s. Here's a good that's kind of like Xingese noodles that him and Ling used to eat.

Look at his collection of cats

Animals hates him in Dublith, he can hold on now, look at it that's cool as shit

Also stuff. Be prepared for stuff

Did he steal part of a pay phone for you and now it doesn't work? Yes but it also had graffiti on it he'd thought you'd like

Or this weird eye-pad he found. What does it do? He doesn't know but it's got a mirror on it

... Nanami and Lucifer clearly need to share tailor info

wafflicious: unfortunately lucifer just poofs into his clothing bc angel magic. he should probably use a real tailor for reasons though. comes up with a tailor in heaven that painstakingly makes his red suits

also greed in all leather is hot ok

lucifer nanami deal that's just aesthetic magic

Nanami has had to get stuff custom made because of his wings

so he probably knows at least one tailor

oh my god a deal so nanami could just poof into his ideal outfit whenever he wanted is so funny help

yeah lucifer can put his wings away so he..........does at almost all times

ohhh... that does sound tempting :|a

ITD BE CUTE idk what lucifer would want in return. but he did publicly make an insanely easy and generous deal to beetlejuice on the network for his name back so its out there hes wheeling and dealing a lil

noooo he's not cute!! he's terrible and you should be mad!

uh huh UH HUH yeah yeah yeah

Greed just picking his ear like: sure buddy. Here's $200

go nuts or whatever

texts Fizz like "is this what a sugar daddy is??"

dsbskjbgkjsbgs

fizz, considering: there are many kinds of sugar daddy so im going with yes

sure sounds like a sugar daddy to me-

love_letters: Fearless would know in this instance, huh

caSDVXCGCFBHVBJ

COUGHING AND HACKING

Ok this is my partner's fault for linking me this image

but Greed basically on every date because he doesn't know what dates really are

(I've been losing it for 5 minutes)

JFDUSGSDGH GOD

LMFAO

Also sorry not sorry you're dancing with him to thisThong Song - Vintage Louis Prima - Style Sisqo Cover...

THONG SONG damn, that takes me back

The Thong Song in swing

Making me look at my Richard Cheese playlist..

YES YES YES

EXCELLENT CHOICE

This is alluding to something. It may or may not happen. It's slightly suggestive

So like I'll just leave it here

knife cat gijinka

Thank you FMA fandom for knowing what Greed is about

You usually do some weird ass shit but sometimes you deliver

Tony idk if you know this but Greed and Scar used to be mashed together a lot in the really early FMA promos because they were the only main characters that didn't have some other important main character CR

I gotta see if I can find some of the artwork

looks at seras and envy

well envy's out

if seras wants a date with greed it's going to be ordering in and demanding an entire evening's worth of his attention

girl whhy are you not already demanding this

wormdoodles EXCUSE ME

EXCUSE ME PLEASE SHARE

Also Seras like

He's right there

He doesn't know how this whole thing WORKS

And he's like AHAHHAHHA my avarice is hilarious right? I just want stuff

(he wants them all and he's stupid. Just be DEMANDING)

And she'll get all his attention

she is learning how to demand things

When he is with someone solo? For his entire focus

since everyone else is doing it, she might as well

Except if he sees something he wants like. Not a person but an actual thing

Walking along, head on swivel

There's a blinky light in a shop window and he needs it

plurk stop hiding responses

YES SERAS GOOD

Get that avarice in ya

... I said what I said

jhljlhkj

she plans to