I would just like to be less scared all of the time.

I experience calm and confidence

But my base state sometimes seems to be "afraid".

Which is ridiculous I am a large omnivorous primate, not a bunny!

It's frustrating I don't like it

I am doing better than I have in a long while though! That has to be remembered

I'm just grumpy about it because I'm unreasonably nervous about my job and my folks going away for the weekend

huuuuugs

you're a large omnivorous primate who lives with other, more aggressive large omnivorous primates

among other things

when social animals experience anxiety...

Be gentle with your brain <3 It's trying to keep you safe. It doesn't understand the danger is social and not literal bears.

transilience - /sigh that is a good point and thank you for it. It is genuinely hard to be calm I don't know what my Littlest Sib will do.

mistakesweremade - I'm aware it's a vital survival mechanism but part of me wants to complain that it is bullshit

anothersadsong - /huuugs

adriengriffon - you are right. I will do my best. All of me is trying to keep me safe and it all deserves honor and gentleness.

Part of me wants to say this is what happens when you make a perfectly good ape work a job around other people >_>

It's bullshit but also like...we're really not that evolved from hunter gatherers.

It's hard, interacting with other people. Especially with strict social roles like our society requires for jobs!

It is very hard! Brain gets a gold star for trying to be social when it's not adapted for this level of social interaction, but maybe a cookie if it lets you work through the anxiety without a meltdown.