When I was little kid I used to fall asleep on the sofa and wake up in bed... but now I fall alseep on the sofa and wake up on the floor

"What does STFU mean?" "Shut the fu*k up" "Damn dude, chill! I was just asking"

"You look pretty today." ... Was I ugly yesterday?

That awkward moment,when your in a middle of an argument and you realize you're wrong

When I raise my Hand at school I Don't get picked & when I Don't raise my hand i get picked

When my pencil falls in class, I usually take it by dragging my foot, because I'm too lazy to take it with my hand.

Laughing at someone's joke, not cause it was funny, but because it was JUST SO STUPID.

When you say ''Look!'' no one looks. But if you say ''Don't look!'' EVERYONE looks.

my cell phone is not just a cell phone, its my alarm clock, calculator, watch, flashlight, camera, & adress book

Shutting down the computer, and then realizing you need it again.