I really need to stop procrastinating, I’ll start next week.

The noblest of dogs is the Hot Dog, it feeds the hand that bites it.

Having voices in your head is normal. Listening to them, common. Arguing, acceptable. However, when you lose the argument, you’re in trouble.

Man is the only living being who cuts trees, makes paper, and writes “SAVE TREES” on it.

Question: Do you know who I am????
Answer: No, Why? Have you forgotten?

You: OMG did you just fall.?
Me: No the ground just came up and smacked me in my face.!

Teacher: We are going to play the quiet game.
Student: Are you playing too?

Jealously is a disease…get well soon!

Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.

Boy: “You’re not my type.”
Girl: “Why, cause I can read??”