ultimate fail... sumara bigla ung ym ko tas ngayun ayaw na niya bumukas

Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

define "irony"

Solution to two of the world's problems: Feed the homeless to the hungry.

if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN

I love deadlines. I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They're not laughing now.

happy 420... i have no weed