Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you be yourself.

Your dick is like a landmine; small, hidden, and explodes on contact.

If you want to get laid, crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!

I would shove my foot up your ass, but you would enjoy it.

Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.

I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.