Real friends don't get offended when you call them bad names, they smile and call you something more offensive.

I hate when I forget to press send on my phone, then sit & wait there for a reply like an idiot.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo, dont be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage but waving at you.

Awkward moment when the world doesn't end in 2012 and you haven't bought Christmas presents.

I wanna write "I miss you" on a rock then throw it to your face, so you can feel how missing you hurts.

I text you and you text back immediately. I call you and you don't pick up. I will kill you.

December is like the Friday of the months.

When you and your friends have code names for people you hate.

"DAD! DAD! DAD COME HERE QUICK!! OH DEAR GOD PLEASE COME!!!!!!!!!!!!" "WHAT? WHOSE HURT?!?" "No-one... there's a spider. Please kill it."

*Computer freezes.* Me: “WTF?!” *Starts clicking everywhere.*