its probably the overlap of plurality and paranoia. its a difficult combination to be comorbid with. and ik its not just me that struggles with it either knowing several of us also deal with that heavy paranoia as a result
i love everyone in my system a lot and appreciate them but i wont lie, sometimes i get freaked out by it all knowing that ill just always be like this unless i seek permanent fusion, which. i dont want to do. doesnt make it any less strange though, imo
yesterday i was lighthearted abt it but i wont lie, sometimes plurality will give me the worst kind of dread. i wake up and i remember "oh yeah im not alone in my body" and that fact wrecks me for a while