Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
God loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.