BITCH PLEASE.

Girl1: You're like a coin.
Girl2: Awwww, valuable???
Girl1: No, two faced. And I'm having trouble which one to slap first.

I'm only single, because I'm too sexy for everyone.

F*ck off dude.

That awkward moment when you’re late for class, and when you walk in, everyone stares at you like you killed someone.

Never say 'past is past' when you know flashbacks exist.

You don't love a girl because she is beautiful, she is beautiful because you love her.

To be smart, you have to be stupid.

Dear Mom&Dad, My bed is broken not because I'm having sex but because I dance and jump too much on it.