Hindi ako matahimik.
Pakiramdam ko ang bigat bigat ng kasalanan ko sa kanya.
Sana uso pa ang sleep over, para hindi ko maramdaman na wala akong kwenta sa bahay.

Grabe na productive ko, naglaba, naglinis ako sa likuran para lang maalis tong alanganin ko.

Pero nafufrustrate na ako.

Ewan ko ba.
Kakausapin niya lang ako kapag kakausapin ko siya.
I get it na may emotions siyang kinikimkim na dinadaan niya lang sa paglalaro ng games. Pero takte, ramdam ko yung gigil niya sa akin nang dahil lang sa nabagsak ko yung gadget niya.

Willing naman ako ipagawa, pero ang vague niya masyado. Nangangapa ako sa dilim.

Masyado na ako nag ooverthink.

Tinanong ko naman sa kanya kung anong problema, sabi niya wala raw. Pero bakit iba yung nararamdaman ko sa pinapakita niya sa akin?

The silent treatment that he keeps giving me for the past three days starts to rot me.

Hindi ko talaga maiwasang hindi ma-OP sa isang GC.
Though sabi naman nila doon, welcome naman ang lahat kahit hindi kayo magkakapareho ng classroom.

What keeps me from leaving?
May ilang tao kasi doon na for keeps.

Pero magwait muna ako ng sign ulit bago ko maconvince yung sarili ko na umalis na lang.

Mababait naman sila roon, nakakaOP lang talaga minsan.

The more I acknowledge the pain, the more it subsides. It doesn't mean that I'm not in pain anymore, but I'm more tolerant to it. I want to believe that everything happens for a reason, but I hope whatever this pain I'm feeling right now, would fruit a better version of me.

I don't know when it started, or it has been with me ever since the series of disappointing episode happened in my life. I've been self isolating, even if I like bonding with the people I love. I stopped doing what I love to do, always thinking if I'm doing the right thing on my age.
I lost my map, but I don't want to be stagnant.
What happened to me?

Numb the pain, just numb the pain.
It's just a different variant, but it is identical to what you already felt way back then.

I know I can't and I'll never find an answer from a closed book that didn't really give up a reasonable ending.

I guess, it's just painful how it ended the way I didn't imagined it. We were okay. I thought we're okay, until we're not.

Ano na lang ang maaalala ko sa tuwing dadaan ka sa isipan ko?

Kung anong naging epekto mo sa akin?
Kung paano ko pinapahalagahan yung friendship natin?
O kung paano mo ako sinukuan bilang kaibigan mo?