oops i forgot my coin expired. i'll re-up that later

anyway i remembered to make a new chatterplurk solely to complain that i don't wanna go to work LMFAO

mostly bc my tummy started hurting like 5min ago

when it had a whole 2 hours to hurt in peace before i had to get ready for work

i truly hate my body MFDSLKGMKLH

did the classic listening to TAZ move of being totally normal until I had to walk by other living humans and then one of the mcelboys said the most unhinged possible shit that human imagination could conjure

and I had to try not to cry laughing while in the presence of my coworkers

steeplechase is fun.

finished by the skin of my fucking teeth tonight didn't quite get through all the backstock for snack and my conditioning was all over the place but. i finished all the live and clean-up all by myself

we had a callout tonight bc of course we did so it was a mess

thank god it's slow tonight bc I have a headache and a tummyache

visiting my partner this weekend to see the pandas at the national zoo with some friends before they go back home to China... excited

long tiring day at the zoo but it was very fun

partner and I grabbed some groceries, came home, and watched Ralph Breaks the Internet since I had never seen it

had a v nice visit with my partner but god every time I have to leave them it gets harder I had to go right to work after saying bye to them and my soft lil ass was trying not to cry while I shoved jars of peanut butter onto shelves

I also just had a very rough night with The Depression™️ the last night I stayed over there so I think I am still in a sensitive emotional state overall

woke up and it was dark as fuck outside so I panicked thinking it was super late but . no. 5pm

I am a cold weather bitch generally but I hate this part of winter LMFAO

god i don't wanna do the work tonight. thursdays be busy af and i am still tired from doing baking goods last night

i kinda killed it considering i don't know the aisle very well but the flour + sugar + oils...........this kills the cee LMFAO

go figures that i'm sleepy again too trying to decide if i want to sneak in a quick nap before work

this function of my brain where, when idle, it just ruminates on everything that has ever upset me and everything that could have possibly ever upset me and everything that could upset me in the future

is so cool. i love it so much.

it is especially great during the mind-numbing first hour of my shift where we're not allowed to listen to stuff on our phones bc the store is still open and so i have Nothing to occupy my mind with except whatever hell it can concoct for 60 minutes

sighs LMFAO

GOD

can we just erase that part of our brains

I TRULY WISH

it's so irritating

real down today lads

tired and achy and depressed about the holidays and missing my partner and my family

god i'm glad sundays are usually slow. i am so tired

god all I need to do is condition the baby aisle and then I'll be done??? IT'S SO EARLY I'M GONNA HAVE TO FIND SOMETHING TO DO

realized i have about a million things i need to do before my (roughly) week and a half of holiday retail hell

things i have done:

- ordered new work shoes
- scheduled my new COVID vaccine for today

things i still need to do:

- laundry, all my work clothes are dirty
- meal prep for work lunch, i am not going to want to cook during that span of time and i also don't want to spend money on last-minute lunches
- clean up the mess i have made of my room while trying to sort some of my closet stuff
- amazon order; closet stuff + soup containers???

ordered closet stuff, immediately forgot soup containers but my brain can no longer parse information about products so maybe i'll look at that again later

cleared a path through my room, almost ate shit trying to take some empty boxes down the stairs but it looks much better in that corner now

now i nap before my appointment

- look at my benefits elections for work; I'm pretty sure I'm not eligible for health coverage but it looks like maybe the requirements changed so I need to do that before the 17th

apparently I'm getting something from the MVA in the mail today. hoping it is not some kind of exorbitant fee for using my EZpass in a car that's not on my account

13min past my appointment time for my vaccine and the tech has not shown up... this place is not busy wtf is going on LOL

all I needed to do was complain, as usual KNFNSKGMS

not to anyone at the pharmacy just. into the universe

it works!

tbh I'd normally wait longer before I was like WHY IS THIS TAKING SO LONG but I'm hungry and I have to pee and I still need to wait the precautionary 15min to make sure I don't have a reaction LMFNSMMGS

I think if it's been over 10 minutes invoking the power of complaining on the internet is fine

I guess that's fair!! I just hate complaining about service in retail bc retail sucks so much ass HAHAHA

IT'S TRUE but this is also american healthcare

true hell world

home, fed, and tylenol'd up

got a big water and a big gatorade so now that I have eaten I will lay down and sip until I inevitably fall asleep

I want nothing more than to eep but... Hydration

vaccine laid me low fam I am so achy and fatigued

all I did today was sleep... I woke up for a couple of hours around midnight and spent some time on VC with my partner but I fell asleep after a bit doing that too ☠️

very glad I followed my instinct and got it when I have 2 days off in a row. I almost tried Tuesday and I would've had most of Wednesday to recover but I don't think I would have been in good working condition LOL

I feel like I've had this headache for a full 24 hours and it's driving me nuts

put an actual meal and some caffeine into my system and it helped a little but headache still persists... ough

unironically wishing all boring grass lawns a very nice die for so many reasons but especially so the fucking landscapers can stop waking me up mowing this useless bullshit every week

"every week?" yes

it doesn't grow that fast but yes

w h y

suburbia is a hell of a drug

it's true i hate it

went fully insane with neurosis today

conquered the mountain of dish backlog that had accumulated in our dishwasher/sink/drying rack and wiped down the counters bc i knew i'd have to cook today. then i slept for way too long but eventually did cook at least a week's worth of work lunches

packed those up, cleaned up after myself except for the pots that needed to soak

then. compelled by a demon and a mostly-empty pants organizer hanging on my closet door. i finally emptied the two big rolling containers of clothes and shoes that have been sitting on my closet floor since we moved in

refilled them for the moment with stuff i just needed to get out of the way

did a wipe down of the closet shelf bc it was gross and i already had a cleaning rag from wiping out one of the rolling containers

put a bunch more clothes into the new organizer and my drawers. unpacked the last Large Box in my room and condensed it into two smaller boxes of miscellany which were much easier to tuck mostly out of the way

proud of you cee!!!

hung up some coats that i'm gonna bring downstairs to the coat closet when the noise won't disturb anyone, and also gonna move my Big Bag of Rugs to the spare room when the same

thank you i'm exhausted and direly in need of a shower but the fucking closet corner has been HAUNTING me

and making my room feel so much smaller (and it is already a very small room)

so . maybe i will regret doing this insane amount of things later but for now the good brain juice of actually being able to walk into that corner outweighs my physical fatigue

oh i also got multi-tier door hooks for some of my various bags/purses that have just been living on the floor taking up space. they're cheapo and i can tell i will probably have to replace them with sturdier ones at some point but FOR NOW THEY WORK

it's so hot in this store 😭😭😭

why do I work in the hottest grocery store known to man

anyway my wrists have been a little fucky the past few days and I ain't fucking around with that so I bought some compression gloves with wrist support for work

it's annoying to wear my cut-resistant gloves over them but they do seem to be helping

tired and my back hurts, which seems to be my baseline nowadays

I have been being more careful about how I move and lift things but I think I need to add some back stretches to my routine

finally played the last pair of yttd side stories and . i'm dying

i'm so normal about it i'm so normal i'm so n

my period started this afternoon and I felt fine when my alarm went off to decide whether I needed to call out, and I also felt fine as I was getting ready for work, but now I Am Fucking Dying

and we're so busy ☠️☠️☠️

I told the TL on duty and she is being very sweet about it but hggoohogoh I'm worried I'm not gonna finish all my stuff

still feel like hot garbo tonight but thankfully have much less to do at work. unfortunately I had d&d before work and it was pretty frustrating for me in a lot of ways bc one player in particular has Main Character Syndrome and pretty much took over a session where a pretty important thing happened to my character

which has been a pattern in this campaign for me. and like, I'm Weary of it obviously but I'm gonna bring it up in the server. but unfortunately I'm trapped at work and can't do that until after work so even though my level of upset was pretty moderate, I'm getting disproportionately anxious about bringing it up

bc my brain has nothing to focus on while I work except rotating it

I want to put my own brain into a box

came home and sat down and all the life left my body... inertia effect

i managed to feed myself but

boy this discussion has been . so much. I am so fucking tired I feel like I might die

oh no

lost almost an hour of my shift tonight to violent tummy troubles and having to dry my sopping wet feet and shoes with the hand dryers in the bathroom on account of flooding in the parking lot

and I also forgot my compression gloves so now my wrists hurt

after depression+debt sleeping all day bc I blew my entire day yesterday on that depressing and messy-ass discussion I had to initiate in one of my d&d campaign servers

so that's the kind of night it's been for me

normally I don't particularly care about Thanksgiving because I've never had much reason to and I also just have a lot of antipathy for the winter holiday season in general but now it cannot come soon enough LMFAO

I have the day off, I'm seeing my partner, and my mom placed an order with our catering department as a surprise for me so partner and I can have a nice dinner

a good day for cee!

HOPEFULLY ANYWAY

holidays just tend to be really fucking cursed for me so i can't hold my breath on nothing going wrong but. i am really hoping it will just be a nice holiday with my partner

I hope so

🙏🙏🙏

me: why am i so eepy
my body: you went to work at 11pm and haven't slept

I perfectly timed finishing TAZ steeplechase with finishing my lunch tonight at work

now I have no idea what to listen to for the rest of this hellish shift

the answer is that I only listened to Ashnikko bc I forgot I was assigned to help with an aisle which meant I was getting interrupted way too much for a podcast LMFAO

there is a new ep of Dadlands so I'll probably hit that up at the start of my next shift. after that who knows

I'll probs listen to the steeplechase TTAZZ and maybe I'll track down the hootenannies and I could relisten to imbalance now that balance is fresher in my mind

after that though... no more TAZ (gently kicks graduation under the rug)

what graduation there's no graduation

didn't even go to school, much less have a graduation!!!

anyway i never listened to any of it but I did listen to seasons 1 and 2 of Dust and just from the improvement between those two, it does seem like Travis learned from some of his mistakes in graduation LOL

dust s2 is rly good

was deathly sad about having to say bye to my partner tonight so they decided to stay one more night and leave tmw morning i love them...

partner on their way home... ough

i am glad they decided to leave today instead of in the dead of night last night when i would immediately have to go to work and pretend not to be crushingly sad but man

I'M STILL SAD... im just a gay little mess i have no idea how people cope with having romantic feelings ever LMFAO

they dont tbh LMAO

they just be crazy til they move in together

IT'LL BE A WHILE YET TIL THAT PART

yeah the worst part is that it's also a bad idea to move in together super quickly LMFAO

i hope yall will be able to spend more time together soon tho <3

yeah i am hoping that at least being close enough to impulsively drop by and hang out will alleviate my gay insanity a little WEJNFNSNGMS

fingers crossed!!

🤞🤞🤞

I just have to survive the holidays... and then hopefully that move will work out...

nods to all of this

seconding kayla because yeah it's just be crazy and crushingly sad until you move in together

i had to schedule like, a few days to recover every time kat flew back to the states because i'd just collapse

i hope the move works out after the holidays............

me too... i know partner rly wants to move but their cocktail of brain problems means their executive dysfunction is DEBILITATING so i'm a little worried they're gonna put crucial moving steps off too long and it'll turn into a whole mess and not work out

i am trying to help in that regard as much as i am able but my own brain problems cocktail means i can only do so much,

accidentally was too productive today and now i'm so tired i meant to do nothing today so that i would have energy to haul my car in for an emissions test tmw...

filled up my tires and gas tank so my tire pressure light stops throwing its regular winter fit, toured a unit in an apt/housing complex my partner is considering, got my emissions test done (passed), and picked up a couple of things from the grocery store across the road while i was over there

and finally got my fat thanksgiving paycheck. thank god. my bank accounts were stressing me the fuck out LMFAO

also put together my new monitor riser and set it up on my desk... i need a nap LMFAO

you did SO many things!!!!!

hands you a tasty treat.

man I want a tasty treat thank u

dang that's some productivicee

euhheuheuheuhe

productivicee continues with unloading/reloading the dishwasher, getting my hand-wash stuff out of the sink, and moving some stuff around a cabinet that has mostly been useless for storage up to this point so we can actually use it...

I went down there intending to cook but I have a real problem cooking in the kitchen when it's messy so momentarily used all my energy on cleaning...sighs

man, same though

"I want to cook" > "I guess not because now I Must do all the dishes"

LITERALLY ME

it's usually like

sink is too full to put in the dishes that would result from me cooking > oh, I should load the dishwasher > dishwasher is full and needs to be unloaded > there are always dishes that are still gross bc our dishwasher can't deal with a lot of caked-on food very well > I have to sort through all of them while unloading

etc etc until yeah the neverending cycle of dishes is tackled for the day but there goes all my energy lol

THAT'S IT

we're just like Sisyphus fr fr

fr fr

laundry and the dishes are truly the worst chores

SERIOUSLY

I'm always doing laundry way too often too bc my work clothes get so filthy that I have to wash them almost every week

slightly alleviated since I bought another uniform polo but christ it sucks, I always just have piles of clean laundry bc I no longer have the spare executive function to fold full loads of it

here cee I have the meme for you

i also struggle with folding lmao. washing? NO PROBLEM...............

folding? MISERY...................................

JGNNSKGKSKF HE'S JUST LIKE ME FR FR

washing is a little annoying for me just bc I have to coordinate using the laundry room with two other people (one of whom has a living space directly attached to the laundry room), and any additional barrier to Doing A Chore is a nightmare, but. for the most part, same

I can get the shit clean but folding and putting it away makes me want to disintegrate 😭😭😭

bad: I'm in fruit and veg tonight, which my main experience with was while I was on my period and dying
neutral: my hardass manager is back
good: someone turned off the fucking Christmas music playlist

god I am SNEEPY

1 more runner left in fruit/veg. not terribly full. and some of a pallet but I am less concerned about the pallet bc that has a bunch of endcap stuff and I have been specifically told not to prioritize endcap stuff

and then ? conditioning and backstock I suppose

will the remainder of hootenanny get me thru this shift... we'll see

just barely finished up fruit/veg with some last-minute help... now i have a tummyache and i'm not being very brave about it

i need to do some bookkeeping stuff before d&d tonight and i rly should do that before i sleep bc if i don't now. i simply won't. but ☠ ough

bummed out about dumb stuff and so anxious i feel sick about d&d tonight very fun very cool

thankfully d&d was cancelled bc I did not do my bookkeeping and also had the worst anxiety hangover I've had in a long time after I finally managed to calm down

ofc now I'm exhausted at work. and there's so much to do. but I can just go home and pass out today I have no additional responsibilities

got my annual review at work which . made me feel a little bad bc some of it was stuff that I feel could have been said to me sooner bc I had no idea it was a problem

also. frankly. my TL is the one who wrote it and i work with her so rarely bc I think our availabilities overlap a lot, so if she's there they don't need me and if I'm there it's bc she's not

so. I feel like some of it is based on my early performance and her seeing me a lot on off nights <_>

it's whatever I just wish someone had told me sooner bc like ??? apparently my facings are an issue??? and I don't understand that at all because I feel like I'm pretty particular about making sure things fit and display properly on the shelves

but I also just feel like shit tonight bc my anxiety was so horrific earlier today so maybe I am just sensitive rn

uuuuugh no, that absolutely should have been brought up sooner

cee this deadass reminds me of the time the other cooks spent six months stewing about how I was making spaghetti wrong but could not bear to bring it up to me personally

anyway. sorry that your performance review sucked... meetings like that blow and feel so weirdly unnecessary for the sort of work you're doing

yeah like bro I am stocking groceries. I'm not purposefully putting product in the wrong places like a lot of day shift and impatient vendors do and I am going as fast as I can, I did not think it was more complicated than that LMFAO??

another thing I was told to improve on was having a cleaner workspace and . yeah i can be a tornado if chaos when I have a billion super full runners I'm expected to get to in (less than) 5.5 hours but as long as I'm not making a hazard for anyone I don't understand why that aspect of my workflow is an issue

and it's not that the space is disorganized bc I'm very particular about how I set up my runners and set aside my backstock and damages. it's literally just that trash goes everywhere bc I just throw boxes out of my way when I'm trying to go fast enough to actually get my job done

and I've walked through plenty of aisles in progress that are full of garbage and difficult to navigate bc people have spotted everything (put stuff on the floor in front of where it goes on the shelf) so like ??? idk that one just feels like a stupid complaint to me, and another one that could have just been said to me months ago if it was a problem LMFAO

yeah that's dumb as hell lol

and also a problem they could easily solve by, idk, giving you a garbage can or something?

it's not like you're leaving the aisle like that

this to me sounds like they were looking for negatives to bring up for the sake of Every Meeting Must Be About Improvement

we actually are allowed to grab garbage bags to bring into the aisles, but the issue is more the boxes bc they're big and have to be broken down so they can fit into the baler LOL and breaking them down takes time so I typically don't do that every time I empty one, I wait until I have a bunch of empty ones so I can break them down all at once

bc if I do it one at a time. it slows me down. which IS something that they were telling me I needed to work on for months, was my speed

see that makes SO much sense

I can do things fast or I can be tidy but I can't be both LOL

again, back at the nursing home, one of my tasks for evening cook was putting away new stock/groceries when the truck came

you obviously don't break down the boxes as you're going, cos that breaks up the flow, it's done at the end

YEAH and one of the senior employees specifically told me she also does it that way when I was helping her in an aisle once so like . why am I being micromanaged like this leave me alone JNFNSMNGS

like I said, I'd understand if I was completely blocking the aisle with my mess, but... I don't??? I always leave room to walk through bc I also need to walk through it??? so idk

ah yes i love the review method of having someone who barely sees you work be in charge of telling management what you do

sorry bb that's so annoying :/