this also applies to other characters from the muse list but obv alan is my only active character rn

(My answering this feels unfair so I leave it at this lmfao)

lmao yeah, who haven't we shipped at this point (my LCW muses)

i love to ship, i want to ship, i do not care if alan is wifeguy, he can be wifeguy and shippable imo

Lucifer is very shippable, he loves ppl (unlike alan)

there's actually a canonical episode where the common thread between a series of murders is lucifer's sex partners, and when people are brought in for interrogation about it for motive, etc., everyone goes "it was fun but just meaningless sex, there was no emotional attachment" and lucifer is a little heartbroken by it

he craves emotional connection with people, even hatemance

(which is funny because his rollercoaster relationship with dan goes from antagonistic to sort-of friends to antagonistic again to best friends???)

(love them)

anyway, i love a hypothetical

lucifer throughout the show: haha it's only natural that people want me and my company, no i'm not lonely, no i don't desire people in the same way, people are just fun
lucifer, getting treated through the same lens he views others: i'm sad now, why?

linda: stares at him

alan loves pure and hard but tbh he's hard-wired to be a whump machine

he's already canonically a whump machine

hurt/comfort w/o the comfort

so just, holds him out in case people want that

he literally wrote six novels about a protagonist who was also a whump machine

self-perpetuating whump cycle

alan in american nightmare: i would like to not be like this, actually
me: yeah, best intentions and all that but

tosses him in the vat for his jokerfication

jokerfied alan is just mister scratch

(It's true)

(yeah)

honestly - going off topic but no one else is in here anyway so w/e - if alan went evil without being brainwashed it'd probably be bad for people

because AU/Insane Alan and Scratch are so deep on inflicting wreckless, full-force, chaotic misery and terror upon the world, and it lacks the same kind of big picture forethought that Alan has

Alan planning a villain arc like a story, with acts and plot threads and stuff like that

Alan: Scalpel
Scratch: Sledgehammer
Insane Alan: Darkness Possessed Steamroller

creating ideas that anticipate the logic and motivations of forces that'd try to stop him

LOL YEAH

demon alan is not this because he's out here to have fun and live life without a care in the world

he's not evil, he's a hedonist with a dark sense of humor

thankfully, i am not really interested in alan becoming evil, because that's simply too much work and planning

coming back in here for a second just to say that re: ryslig, there is one person that i have thought shippy things about with alan, but idk if the character is a shippable character so i'm not gonna say who it is

holds secret ship to my chest

reads this and kicks my feet

big evil plot set up and storyboarded like a novel

(nerd)

the hero is a villain energy (very nerd)

imagining alan having a henchman is very funny

writing someone into existence to be a henchman

evil Alan is kind of mouth of madness vibes

i can imagine!! i really want to see that but it's not streaming anywhere last i checked!

In the Mouth of Madness

Free with ads!!

mobie

...........so I just watched that whole movie,

LMAO I will have to watch it later today methinks

I was just gonna watch the beginning and it sucked me in for 90 minutes

consumed

it got me!!

It’s SO fun and I love when Sam Neill does horror. Put that man in a situation