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"...social comparison motives were out of harmony with our deeper values and could lead to conditional love..."

"Principles are like lighthouses. They are natural laws that cannot be broken...It is impossible for us to break the law. We can only break ourselves against the law."

"The more people are into quick fix and focus on the acute problems and pain, the more that very approach contributes to the underlying chronic condition. The way we see the problem is the problem."

"It's easy to see that independence is much more mature than dependence. Independence is a major achievement in and of itself. But independence is not supreme...much of our current emphasis on independence is a reaction to dependence... Even with better circumstances, immaturity and dependence often persist."

"True independence of character empowers us to act rather than be acted upon. It frees us from our dependence on circumstances and other people and is a worthy, liberating goal. But it is not the ultimate goal in effective learning... Life is, by nature, highly interdependent."

"It is our willing permission, our consent to what happens to us, that hurts us far more than what happens to us in the first place... It's not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us."

"It is inspiring to realise that in choosing our response to circumstances, we powerfully affect our circumstance. When we change one part of the chemical formula, we change the nature of the results."

"Anytime we think the problem is "out there," that thought is the problem."

"If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets to the wrong place faster. We may be very busy, we may be very efficient, but we will also be truly effective only when we begin with the end in mind."

"People can't live with change if there's not a changeless core inside them. The key to the ability to change is a changeless sense of who you are, what you are about and what you value."

"If you visualise the wrong thing, you'll produce the wrong thing... They see it, they feel it; they experience it before they actually do it. They begin with the end in mind."

"...frustration is a function of our expectations, and our expectations are often a reflection of the social mirror rather than our own values and priorities."

"Trust is the highest form of human motivation. It brings out the very best in people. But it takes time and patience, and it doesn't preclude the necessity to train and develop people so that their competency can rise to the level of that trust."

"...we clearly see that we could not have gotten where we are without coming the way we came. There aren't any other roads; there aren't any shortcuts...you simply have to travel the road. You can't be successful with other people if you haven't paid the price of success with yourself."

"...quick fix is a mirage. Building and repairing relationships takes time...are long-term investments.

"...people will trust and respect you if you are honest and open and kind with them. You care enough to confront. And to be trusted, it is said, is greater than to be loved."

"Satisfied needs do not motivate. It's only the unsatisfied need that motivates."

"If you don't have confidence in the diagnosis, you won't have confidence in the prescription."

"Sameness is not oneness; uniformity is not unity. Unity, or oneness, is complementariness, not sameness. Sameness is uncreative... and boring. The essence of synergy is to value the differences."

1. Be proactive
2. Begin with the end in mind
3. Put first things first
4. Think win-win
5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood
6. Synergise
7. Sharpen the saw