so his off button is to appeal to his vanity I see-

first, this slayed me

this is an absolute disaster tho and I didn't expect it, but in hindsight.....I really should have

(and by disaster I mean I love it and spent like all of yesterday laughing with my head in my hands about it)

Abby: my favorite thing is how much Astarion's getting jumped on for this
me: Astarion sputtering in abject offense over here but sir you did threaten to rip out her throat
Abby: yeah after Wysteria was deliberately terrorizing him like CANT WAIT FOR YOU TO GET POISONED
me: their streak of Massive Hostile Sibling Energy continues

(my friend Genta was like this is like when I was a kid and I used to shake the bottle of iced tea powder really hard and then opened it so it exploded in a puff of smoke, and I'd do it all the time

and then my sister did it ONCE after seeing me do it and my mom was like NO and I never got in trouble but she did)

anyway I'm torn because this is cool and I want someone to do this icly because I want to know how lyrium affects Rifters, but also like so many of the Rifters in game rn are team we survived trauma/torture/0 agency squad so I'm not shocked they're mostly bristling

add to that Astarion's Big Fear over the anchor shards in general, how Rifters are perceived, this being his literal 1 year in Thedas mark (aka when Rifters he knew started disappearing), and he's sure in the pit of snapping his fangs

(on the plus side it's just for show; he's not aiming to hurt anyone, just hissing.....which in its own way is progress)

rainbowillness

I was telling era that man mobius has Feelings about this but his own curiosity is curtailed by how Big Mad he is about. the way wysteria is. I mean just. [motions to her] just how she is.

it's fucking great I love her she's such a mad scientist gremlin in the best way

I hope a rifter does volunteer bc it is really interesting/horrifying and it would be useful to know but also it's pretty bad the way the whole thing is phrased

god it's so fucking good tbh, she is the best mad scientist gremlin but also rip astarion . . . valid disaster tbh

completely, in all respects

I also love that the Rifters are just the giant group of specialized trauma and this managed to hit EVERYONE'S buttons

correct

she's an unapologetic menace ty to everyone for indulging me

the best kind of menace

i want abby to do it so bad but abby does want to do it at all goddamnit it hahaha

richard has her down as a solid ‘maybe’

note: could be double dog dared into it

blisters: i know I feel like

i want in on this but

the only way i can think of is if sylvie barters to practice her enchantment on wisteria w/o her telling on her

LMAO

LMAO

Sylvie NO

Loki is popcorning but refuses to engage

Uccellino: Sylvie yes.

Let her in your brain wisteria

People usually recover just fine

I'm just saying, Wysteria's curiosity re: magic CLEARLY outstrips her sense of self preservation

it's very tempting ngl

prosodi: what's your discord?

it's abby#4396 o/

(sorry for hijacking your plurk coba1t)

yesss....slipping out so i stop hijacking

pfft I don't mind at all hijack away

also lmao she IS the best kind of menace

but also thank u Astarion appreciates being upgraded to valid disaster

gently clutches this entire experiment network post to my chest

this has been my popcorn

also l o v i n g this like hell yeah the local lyrium elf having some Opinions about all this

smashes track button like I'm not tracking everything already

WEH

like no wonder he is upset, oh buddy....

actual footage of local lyrium elf

THIS POOR LAD HE'S BEEN BURNED SO BAD (meanwhile Richard tapping into his best `your call is important to us...` lmfao)

Petra like "yeah this is what dealing w rifters en masse is always like, anyway, I'll do it"

me sipping my coffee while reading that fenris response like

also i cant believe this is the top level image in actual action

byerly: calls him "my beauty"
astarion: stops barking immediately

keanuleaves Petra continuing to be out here fearing literally nothing

tiniest dragonhearted thing

lovely and stubborn and brave, as okkervil river said

blisters LMAO oh my god you're....right....

how did I even miss that

Byerly instantly coming in with the cure

(but also starts a save the surly elves wildlife foundation)

(which one? yes)

jail for two hundred years

current status: dying of inflammation pain but I'm not letting tags sit longer so

do not pass go do not collect 200 dollars

lmfao

ugh I wanted to keep going but pain and nausea are comin back fiercely so here's a banter meme toplevel for Astroturf and I'll crawl back tomorrow for more

get rest bb

LMAO SURELY NOT

I suffer

anyway doing some tracking in here tonight to finish getting myself reorganized, feel free to mute away if need be as always

suffering in waiting for smooches...

me over here forever just staring at Abby and Ellie like

not in this reality

others however...

many others

(I will accept it)

1: Astarion > River
2-3: Astarion > Fenris
4: Astarion > Sylvie
5-6: Astarion > Ellie
7: Astarion > Byerly

(I cannot believe Ellie and Fenris both said they loved Astarion in the same month....... )

(local albinic stray cat overwhelmed by the newfound luxury of having peo— LMAO

that's it come here

gaaaaaay

ANYWAY +1 friendship love acquired, +1 soulmate love acquired he's

nobody look at him he's stupidly content aside from everything else around them all being on fire but don't worry about that

(i'm so happy for him 🥺💘)

he doesn't deserve it but goddamn is he determined to safeguard it

he deserves it!!

MMMMMmmmmm

deserves is maybe a strong word, but!

like a super strong word, b u t

CACKLES

local bat needs a hug

let him be loved

unprotagonist now he gets them like, whenever he wants??? wild...where is the catch????

Kitnkat months ago feeling love for the first time in his long ass life like

but also now if anyone tries to take it from him it's just Stupid F*&#ing Lettuce!

(but also let him be loved, he is baskin)

Sometimes love starts with insulting each other on the magical internet

sometimes love feels like sunlight. like it should burn away at his skin. but, like sunlight here, it doesn't! which is something to get used to! but it's warm and pleasant actually!

yeAH. wild. who knew???

-Astarion, after hearing it from Loki ages ago and being like 'nah seems wrong'

LMAO HE TRIED TO WARN YOU

AND YET

I feel like he and Loki are also [same hat] in that need to learn by experience alone

because until that happens it's just

I mean you're not wrong

accept love whether you like it or not