So yes he’s still not ready to commit. I understand. I don’t wanna push but I can’t ignore my own feeling anymore. So there I said it. It’s true that I don’t want to give up but it’s also true that I’m tired of waiting. I don’t know who I am.

I think the same issue is he lost his confidence over the years so even he has faith in me, he doesn’t have the same confidence in himself. And he treat relationship as a responsibility which also gave him pressure bec he don’t know if he’s ready

I’m glad that he treats relationship more seriously now after everything he has been through. But it comes like a double edged sword as that also result in his indecisiveness.

I made myself clear after the call. And also get to understand him more.

But the tiredness is still there. Because I know all I can do now is either wait or quit. If quitting is not an option now that means I can only wait. But waiting is a long and painful process.

Still so very unhappy now

I’ve been investing a lot so even this is the textbook case of ‘you have to quit on him’, I still don’t want to let go easily. I think he still worth the wait.

Just follow my heart, or my gut.
If I want to wait, I’ll wait. I guess I’ll know when I reach the limit, then I’ll just give up.

But the more I think of it the more I feel unhappy

I am really tired

And now

I have marginally the same feeling I had before. I’m preparing to lose now.

I’m almost thinking I’m mentally preparing myself to let go. Just not sure when, or who’s gonna say it first.