I pretty much dropped the ball on death/monster fallout shenanigans

I did do some with it but like. I think... I may have to face the facts that I am too slow / anxiety riddled to keep pace with this game

Tsuchi is a cute team of misfits and weirdos but I feel like my performance issues are making me fail to connect

I'm not good at following the discord so I end up falling behind

Idk what happened to my ability to keep up with/follow discords for RP but I swear that right there is HALF of my problem and I hate it

Anyway

<3

I want to play with you again some day but I also really need a longer break

So I feel you re: anxiety issues

I know it doesn't help with the anxiety, but i don't think that anyone is especially pressed to follow everything on the discord or be doing a million rp things at all times. it is 2022 now, not 2014, and while we all get occasional bursts of SPEED we also all have real life things to do and just ain't around as often

obviously if you're not vibing then you're not vibing, but it helped ME chill tf out when i looked at everything and went "well I will simply play with the things i wanna play with and take things at my own pace and that'll be it"

my brain doesn't like that i don't do 20k comments a year and keep up with EVERYTHING in the disco at ALL TIMES but it learned to get over it

Yeah I think that's the stage I'm at .

Trying to get my brain to fully accept that we're not going to have thousands and thousands of comments a year

IT IS A PAINFUL STAGE

cuz it's 2022, I'm an adult with obligations, and I'm tired

I genuinely have never kept up with a game discord a day in my life and I do not know how anyone does it but that's. my brain.

cloudatlas: I used to be able to somewhat but these days I'm just like /brain floats outside the window, and also possibly space and time

or at least, I might not have followed along completely, but there was a stage in Imeeji when I did a lot better

that was before a lot of shit that made me Tired, though, including the pandemic

As long as you are having fun with the things you are doing, it's a game that's meant for that! But if you feel like you're unsatisfied then that's okay too. I would miss you dearly but!! That which is most fun for you is most important

bespeak: don't feel guilty. sometimes you need a longer break. I totally get that. I definitely took 3 solid months off before I tried coming back

Anyway I think I'm going to keep trying because I do have some VERY cute CR I am loathe to leave

I agree very strongly with Ellie, I was in the same state the first time I tried to play in rev, the game felt way too fast, it didn't feel like I was keeping up. It's hard to get your brain to just. Chill out.

brains hate change its real bad

brains do indeed hate change

why am i not as speedy and hip and cool as i used to be, checks notes, 8 years ago??? smh

GOD that's so REAL

But eventually, it does and you feel comfortable just like. Doing your thing and staying in your lane. And sometimes, you get that burst of energy that makes you GO GO GO like we did when we were 20-somethings with unlimited free time, lmao.

fsfkm

Yeah

So I guess I'm on the quest so see if/when my brain will chill out

I do have cute CR

but she may also be very bitter with Venti gone again so I'm gonna have to have her process that.... at least she won't decide to try to burn down the bar again

brains are bad

On the positive side, I threw together an app for Snekgame which I'm excited to join next week

I'll be playing Lumine traveler style again which as much as I love the Abyss side I've missed Traveler!Lumine

have I mentioned how I find it super cool to be able to play either side of that arrangement and it's not technically OOC or non-canon? Just the other side

when I was modding imeeji I used to read every single team chan and basically also every other chan except fandom chans for fandoms I'm not in

anyway, that's probably also a large part of why I became very very tired.

where did I even find the time and energy to do that. what the hell past me

KAZ... that's so powerful but omg holy hell

no wonder you're tired

it's the same disease that makes me leave plurks unread for months on end because I'm like 'BUT I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING. I WANT TO SEE THE WORDS. SURELY I CAN JUST DO THAT LATER'

@ everyone ever do not be like me.

god. tmw the mark all as read is not a mistake its because there are 5k messages and you need a break from the weight of unread messages,,,

HEAVES.