[misc] 
I am medicated again for ADD
okay well, technically tomorrow I will be, once I pick up my prescription, BUT
at long last, no more suffering from trying to just do it all unaided goddamn
the dr was super nice and really chill, and the second I mentioned how much I kept getting told ‘well we don’t want to put you back on medication until we’ve solved your blood work; well, we don’t want to put you back on medication because we still test your blood every once in a while and don’t want anything affecting your AA disease’ she was like oh yeah
PCPs in Washington hate dealing with the paperwork/hoops of controlled substances so they’ll do anything to get out of prescribing it
I'm glad your doctor was chill
me: 
well fuq now it all makes sense
well fuq now it all makes sense
me too... 
anyway I had big hopes for tagging tonight with excitement in my heart but I’m beat af as it turns out, so I’m just going to turn in, get a solid hibernation, get my meds, and come back powerful tomorrow
have a good/day night fam
ADD meds change game, change game good.
hell yea
grasp hand
grips!!
damn today is pretty tho
flowers!!!!
Ooooooh
saved a little guy from death in the middle of the road and got him back to the dirt
riveting life updates I know
(but he was so happy ok)
worm week continues
clean the worm Tiktok
worm week worm week
a woerm clean of sin...
Pretty flowers!! Worm!! <3
oh worm?
yesterday was a whirlwind of all day errands and road trips but on the upside, did find all the hidden nerd content in IKEA 
shockingly delightful 
also me looking at this frame like finally, home and garden network content for ME 
anyway rested my bones in the aftermath today and feel only slightly like damp paper so now you all have to put up with me again
can't wait to put up with u
pogonophile WELL THEN you're in luck, I say at.........12am....
also god just trying to open a transferwise account to finish getting commission $ from overseas and it is being a total monster tonight about every single step of this process
pros of being freelance: schedule is whatever tf u want
cons: everything will be a huge pain and there's no one else to handle it or make it smoother in any sense
That's the best title you could give a cat.
right???
I have never loved a creature more
but just look at A Costco Hotdog
meat a costco hotdog...
Better than what my adopted boy was named. Ellsworth. He's a Loki.
But A Costco Hotdog is peak pet naming.
But A Costco Hotdog is peak pet naming.
Ellsworth
Loki is definitely the name I would prefer if I was a cat but Ellsworth is really cute imo
Lol he didn't look anything like an Ellsworth. He has the morality of a seagull and mischievous intent...and he's too smart for his own good.
lmao ok yeah 100% a Loki, then
you made the correct call
can you spot the creature?
also god it’s so gorgeous out today and I can’t wait to head out in a few because the sun is just shining like mad, but then I realize it’s still like 40-some degrees out there and I 
i spot the creature...
i seen it
creacher
lil face
headcanon shes occupying the entire footprint of that blanket like a melted butter
lmf honestly that headcanon probably isn’t wrong
all puddle no bones
I told myself I was going to slide onto the porch once I got home and just lounge in the gorgeous weather but I just got out of the store and looked to my right to see this wall of encroaching grey 
like welp given that my home is that way maybe not
lol it caught pip and me completely by surprise
he was out lounging in the sun and is suddenly frantically like LET ME IN MOTHER IT'S RAINING
....oh NO lmfaooo
anyway some health musing in here pls ignore as I try to sort out the things I need to bring up/adjust etc at my meeting this week in a place I can easily snap to
fatigue is still a nasty beast, and it + flares have a tendency to really sneak up on me now that I'm back on medication because I'll be feeling powerful and energized and then bam
immediate pain and exhaustion that flattens me out for hours if not all night
otherwise XR is great, I still get tired at night and sleep hard af, but I’m not juggling one big up front burst of energy
I do want to up my dosage; on good days it’s fine, I have focus and can stay on tasks better than before without it taking a year and a day because my brain turns into a loading screen or I boot the same page up 3 times, tab over to 5 other things, forget what I was doing and then burn something in the microwave—
but on bad days it’s nothing. like, legit nothing. I know it’s in my system because my body reacts to it, but not my brain
(also goodbye vitamin water c my beloved you are too hard to time drinking in a way that doesn’t make you hinder my absorption)
My Heart Will Go On - Recorder By Candlelight by Mat...
and I also really need to figure out how and when I'm taking my supplements for the same reason, because I can't take them at the exact same time (I'm supposed to take iron with vitamin c, my pcp just left the practice, and my hematologist doesn't feel certain about advising specifically for adderall
so maybe it'll just be some trial and error over here, we'll see)
anyway fatigue is still always gonna be fatigue and my body is worse off functionalitywise than it was 3 1/2 years ago so I need to make peace w that and try to give myself a little leeway; flagging means I have a chronic illness fighting me and not that the meds aren’t doing their job or that it’s pointless etc
good stuff solid stuff 0 complaints just adjustin'
uuuuuuuugh fucking iron
don't take it with anything with calcium
that's what trips me up super bad
oh damn I did not realize that, thanks fam
yah, calcium definitely inhibits iron absorption
yeah I used to do those little babybel cheeses if I needed to eat anything with a med
accidental self sabotage!! take it with OJ instead
vitamin c helps iron absorbtion
the iron supplement I just got at Haggen is pretty good, it's called Rainbow Light Complete Iron and is actually paired with Vitamin C I believe
often iron supplements make me feel like I've been poisoned but this one doesn't give me any side effects, I just make sure I take it with food etc
hella, thanks for the tips friends
it's kind of wild to me that none of this stuff gets talked about up front but then again I'm somehow not surprised
anyway had some fun little health spooks this week but they're all done and dusted now, and the good news is my check in is tonight w my psych so I'll be glad to 1: get to talk about all this stuff and 2: see how she's been (she was on vacation the first time we talked so it was a laptop rodeo)
the nice thing about her is that she and I both like getting to actually talk (my hematologist is like this too which is probably why aside from her being good at her job, I genuinely like her)
glad you're doing ok <3
so I'm looking forward to it
ty fam <3 me too
it did also mean I forgot to post some snaps from the other day's v nice night so belatedly:
(small life snippets)
and lastly but most importantly, rating candy
(milk duds is hiding under the tiermaker sign but if it isn't obvious, I love FrUITs 
)
)
go ahead and give me all your kitkats
I will also raid your trash and then cry because all the good ones in there have peanuts in them
hell yeah
LMAO I will redact
trash and make it Cami's hands
I can't stand peanuts with sweet things
I'm just allergic to peanuts so I can't have them but I miss them
it's residual gag reflex from when I was a kid
almond snickers/M&Ms tho, A+++
oh no....
i'll take the nutty trash
gently lays a flower on your allergic grave
cries a single tear
you can have my lemon candy in exchange
assbanditkirk yeets it right across the water
k2 and abby have dragged me over this several times, I really can't stand lemon flavored things with the one exception of literal lemonade
can i have the reeses
im crying i wish we got swedish fish here. i miss them
honestly my favorite food is sprouts and I can't have them anymore because it's guaranteed to trigger flares, so it isn't the exact same boat, but I do share in off limits suffering time, we can weep on each other
a weeping pile
blisters puts reeses specifically in a rocket launcher so they can reach you I see 0 problems with this plan whatsoever
god WHAT no swedish fish oh no I'm so sorry.........
I'd die
I say like it's the worst thing ever but also I mean swedish fish
same w twizzlers im in hell. i love them so much
why is it so hard to switch out of art brain into writing brain
Woof yes
peppermint patty and milk duds solidarity!!
hell yes!!
peppermint patties esp oh my god I live for them
my favorite thing to do with peppermint patties is crack them really close to my ear because they make a really satisfying shhh noise
i know that sounds weird but try it lol
ohhhh my gosh I will.
oh huh I had no idea
I'll try that next time
actively drowns in work tonight 
goofy in a pool - Fly Me to the Moon
goofy in a pool - Fly Me to the Moon
me: oh tonight's workload won't be so ba-
(I was actually tempted to stream some of it but then I just realized that's my tired brain trying to weasel out of getting the job done because I'd spend the whole time typing in chat)
(can't fool me, me)
whew today was so busy and wildly fun and I am Tired but I've so so missed in person D&D time 
hell Yeah
hell yeah
the true bummer is that the AFK is closed forever so there won't be anymore truly nerdy nights out but it's still just nice to get to chill and roll some dice, and I'm really looking forward to this campaign
THE CHEESE BOARD
It was so nice!! our friend Jason brought it over as a surprise even though we told him not to bring anything
love that dude
I miss....doing stunt choreo work...
like here's the thing I had my frustrations w the hobby from time to time (every hobby has its pros and cons lbr) and I know I'm going to fill the void as the weather warms by going hiking and kayaking but there's something about just smacking sticks together that hits the spot in terms of things kid me thirsted for indefinitely
idk maybe my mood will change once there are more easily accessible nerd events to fill the void, but for now I am deeply in the pining zone
I will say if I go back to it I doubt I'd try out for lead anything just because 1: that taxed the absolute shit out of me when I hit critical fatigue and just chugged energy drinks to power through and 2: I still remember the stress of being pre-show and watching my immune system tank like two days before
and sitting down with our director to be frank about how I was doing just to see the nightmare panic in his eyes (we often performed for Ronald McDonald house/ immunocompromised kids/ etc so if anyone was sick, they couldn't perform)
but bit parts or just choreo for choreo's sake, that I know I could run with and not worry about tapping out as needed
idk I guess we'll see, maybe I'll sniff around, it wasn't always perfect but it was mine etc etc
hugs
things like that are so important
esp when it's part of your identity
you're absolutely right, yeah, and I'm a ghost of a person socially speaking so I know I don't need much figurative sunlight and watering in that department, but it's easy to forget how much it actually is a fun recharge/time killer until sitting around like
I miss
hitting other people
lol
ofc
I feel the same way about singing with other people in harmony, I get kinda fucked up if I go too long without doing that. it's a form of self-soothing and just feeling connected to the world I think
also I had friends in that group!! I miss my friends!!!
even hardcore introverts are still humans and it's nice to have Other Humans around even if you arent' talking to them
yeah that is totally the vibe re: self-soothing connections
it's small but it's nice
side note: did see someone out in public walking their dog in a full kigurimi
nature is healing
i miss hitting people lfjgfjkh mood
i used to do fencing i also miss hitting people
lmao right?
nothing really replaces it
god i just was comin in here to say god i feel this from fencing, i'm glad we all vibe with smacking other people - but man no i hard feel you, it's so nice to just have such a kinetic connection
I can't believe we're all sword people (I so can, we have good taste) but yeah I feel like it's the beefed up version of I'm 5 and I have a wrapping paper roll and I'm going to smack you with it until we're tired af and then compare notes on how it went
I will say
wrapping paper rolls are superior to swords in the "plonk" sound
i had a wooden sword that i used in a performance of macbeth once... and tho we had full choreography, i accidentally smacked the macbeth really hard during the real thing and her dying OOOF was very realistic as a result
aconite you know normally I'd agree with you completely...but not when it's stunt grade lightsabers 
them smacks are satisfying
everyone has to at least get their 1 accidental hit in and 1 gigantic ugly bruise though so really you were just christening their performance
YUP... 😳
ok fair, they do have a very satisfying, solid clack
I am
furious
to see an article trending on twitter where some young dude wrote a book about how people who take vitamins and supplements die younger because they have so much iron in them, and the reason why blood donors live longer is because they get rid of their iron
this fucking
idiot narrative
this honk honk clown college bullshit
first off there's no definitive reason known as to why people who take vitamins and supplements live longer but one of the leading theories is...wow...people who have to rely on them are people who are generally deficient for reasons like malnutrition, disease, etc
don't* live longer
angry typing doin me in
conversely people who donate blood in general are more likely to be healthy and not suffer from (as many/or) threatening conditions
and now in the comments there's people who are anemic or are on supplements saying they didn't know this and are totally going to be ditching their daily intake and I am screaming
not even considering how many people are going to just, you know, read the article and make that leap of supplements/vitamins bad and I'm not going to discuss this with a medical professional before I swear myself off them
thank god for the few people and doctors that are like hey so not having enough iron can cause serious side effects, worsen things like PCOS, etc and you do actually sound like a vampire trying to convince people that nah they don't need their blood (which is funny ok that one got me) but I'm still just so mad
the article is citing the book w 0 up front criticism I'm gonna go
YIKES
f e r a l
that's a REAL bad medical take
it is so stupidly harmful
jesus fucking fuck this is the human health version of the airplane bullet holes thing
....oh no... what is the airplane bullet holes thing
It's called survivorship bias and it's pretty interesting as a general principal
The Army was planning on adding armor strategically to the parts of the plane that tended to get most riddled with bullets and asked Wald to help them determine exactly where the armor should go. lmao Wald you champ for being like yeah so how about the ones that didn't make it
but yeah that's exactly it
yepppp
I really, really hope people clicking on this article read the comments and do some research but I know a lot of people won't, that this book will sell copies from this exposure, and there's going to be someone out there who gets blowback from this trash theory
ugh
drags my hands down my fucking face
I wonder if there's a correlation regarding the general health of people who get their medical information from hacks on twitter
oh my good christ
reasons i'm glad my mom isn't on twitter tbh
it's hard enough keeping up with people feeding her nonsense about essential oils and "the alkaline diet"
ugh.... yeah no
it's literally everywhere unfortunately
tucking this in here to bury my shame
stares at it in earnest
but yellow markers are for things I only half finished
which bioshock did you half finish
the sky one
ok, friendship reinstated
but you were on thin ice for a moment there
LMAO good thank u
fucking same
loved the first one
the sky one was a slog
I get to also count dragon age because I beat inquisition but that was before any dlc was actually out and like come on, was that even any kind of ending
it was basically [to be continued]
here's a cutscene with your school cafeteria table crew
unprotagonist I never played the first one! I really...need to go back to both at some point
omg please play the first one it's so ~atmospheric~
but my current list is Horizon Forward West/DAII/DA:I (with dlc this time)/AssCreed hot viking lady edition
god that game really was bomb in its time for sure
oh this is a good list
... I do still need to play the DLC for DA:I
I'm already partially thru all of them so I have 0 excuses
ohhh this is a good list frankly, all of these are excellent games, but also hell yes that to-play list
soon 
Horizon Forbidden West - Main Menu Theme (Aloy's The...
my jams for today because this game fucks and the ost also fucks but also it's just really pretty and I always used to get choked up over the original HZD theme 
!!! yes
I just
I just love Aloy a normal healthy amount u guys
i just love her harem of people who love her
scuttles over to disco to yell at you about hfw tbh
rattles out of my skin
god I used to listen to the OST while doing data entry nothing better for getting you pumped to type fast...
mmm...assist me, friendos
having a brain crawling out of my skull night every time I try to sit down and focus, so pass me your best ambient music/non vocal writing jams
Chillhop Music - YouTube
thanks b
drags this into my lair
my current fave, 
Recomposed by Max Richter: Vivaldi, The Four Seasons
Recomposed by Max Richter: Vivaldi, The Four Seasons
oh hell ye ty
Hollow Knight • Relaxing Music with Ambiance (Rain, ...
ohhh my god rain noise my beloved thank u
Rain noise <3
Raine noise 
THE LAST OF US Part II Ambient Music 🎵 Post Apocalyp...
seconding that max richter, I got to hear it live and it's so good
oh god im so envious hahaha
the state philharmonic did a performance of it a few years ago and my parents couldn't use their tickets so they asked if i wanted to go instead and OF COURSE i said yes
Journey OST - Complete Soundtrack
tried and true
yessss Journey
XD Oh no I didn't delete my typo fast enough lol
(catte on the mind)
whew mystery solved as to why my brain was melting out of my ears and that it was that I was about to get super mega sick and delete like a dying star 
but also hell yes Journey I still get so choked up about that game
journey was and is so fucking good
oh no
same, I take any opportunity to make people listen to/play it
pretty sure I have a fever today; I've been getting some minor stuff taken care of from bed on my phone but I've got the window open and it's cold af and my head + neck just feel consistently surface of the sun 
on the plus side it's nice to know why I've probably felt so high/low crash re: flareups this week
on the other I'd like to just not
c'mon body get with it
right, like do u not know we've got stuff to do
ugh poor avali. take it easy and pet tana for me
ah buddy :<
:c aw man.
ohh bud feel better :<
whew ok covid test negative, so I can at least feel more relieved abt that
and thank u friendos! it ain't the worst and I'm ok w handling it as long as it's not anything more serious, so good news there 
grasp hand so tightly
glad t hear this
hope you shake it off real fast
i'm so glad it's a lowkey ill. fingers crossed that it goes quickly
ty ty <3 I really do appreciate it 
/smothers
boo D:
fucksake can your body give yas a break
I hope you feel better soon! 
oh gosh, feel better
thank u pals
wraps you in a big blanket
ok it's Disneyparks chatter time again, and while usually that means it's salt time or embarrassing corporate decisions power hour, I'm actually proud of twdc right now?? which is....man, it's been a long time
oh? do tell
when it would've been really easy to back out of their recent firefight with the local FL govt via just doing what they've always done (and what most other parks do) which is 10% donations on all repeatedly used pride specific generic rainbow merch sales and maybe a little low key nod to 'be yourself'
that could be easily overlooked
this year they've made some gorgeous (advertised) murals to celebrate, added charming new merch, and most importantly 100% of the proceeds of those sales go to zebra coalition, who have been fighting the damn good fight against legislations in Florida and who also provide safe spaces and resources for lgbtq+ youth etc
and like
cute
cute!!!
anyway people are being weird about it as always, w such tried and true hits as
are we celebrating just a single group, or are we actually looking to treat everyone equally? and people have been mean to me and nobody gave me a whole month and I'm a straight mom who's proud of my gay daughter for rejecting pride month and how it's all just empty noise
but on the plus side the majority of responses have been overwhelmingly good on the discussion boards so far, and people are really pushing those few who might/might not change their viewpoint to do some deep thinking instead, and the upvote system means that's getting way more traction
(also good is the queer discussion of why corporations advocating for pride is a good thing when right now some companies are banning flags or shirts in the workplace during pride and rights are being rescinded)
so
cool shit??
cool shit
it doesn't make up for everything ever etc but it is nice to see
OH NICE . . .. oh that's delightful holy shit good job disneyparks?
yeah! it's good to see some positive stuff coming in
finally some good fucking food
at last
slept like the dead last night finally; post-fever/virus inflammation hives are all gone; feeling human at last??? and so jazzed about it that when I got out of bed just now I tangled my foot in my covers
yoinked half my covers onto the floor, pulled my phone charger out of the socket in the process because it was also swept into the gray and then smacked my last two toes directly against the corner of the bed frame nails-first 
fray not gray* thanks phone
DOIN GOOD
live footage of me getting out of bed
anyway still pleased af, gonna make breakfast and then write like the goddamn wind finally
you: I feel better!
you: clonk
you: clonk
lmao fucking
l i t e r a l l y
omg
🤡
LKJASDFLKJ OH NO ohhhh i'm gld you're feelin better tho
lmf thank u fam, me too
it was just a brisk wake up that's all
Hunchback of Notre Dame "I'm Free"
XD That's a mood
who needs coffee when you can have clonk
LMAO gdi that
clip
posts 10000 memes I've saved to bludgeon down how seething mad I am rn
April Ludgate energy
now that you've said it I can't unsee it being in an episode somehow
be careful, any of my period-having friends
...i was literally just about to buy some knix, too....
/closes tab....
nervous laughter
ooh
big
yikes
well shit
eugh definitely getting sick
woke up half an hour ago feeling my sinuses just running for the hills with my eyes watering after going to bed feeling inflamed af last night
what a pain
oh no! feel better pls
not the end of the world if it stays like this tho since I still feel pretty functional? but it'll put a damper on my workout routine at least
ty b! I'M RESTIN
in the meanwhile tho leaves u all w squit
XDD
Boo for getting sick! I hope it stays mild for you and goes away fast!
thank you! also bonus good news, took a just in case test (I'll take another later on in the week) and I'm clear 
massive relief if nothing else
YES. thank goodness
PHEW
noooo
oh good thing it's not covid!!!
im glad of that T_T
gonna scoot in and scoot out for obvious reasons but if anyone else needs a dad and doesn't have one to speak of, it's me, I'm officially your padre now
or if you need one that doesn't suck, that too
thank u dad
happy father's day 
thanks dad
I have a dad but it's nice to have a bonus dad
Oh. 
Happy Father's Day! <3
Happy Father's Day! <3
carries u all on my shoulders
oh to be a little dog in a little red hoodie, sleeping so hard and comfortably that my tongue is sticking out
my next life
me all day with the same 4 layers just
lmf
looking up after 6 hours of sitting in the same spot trying to get the last of this piece finished without actually being able to cross the finish line, conceding that it won't get done tonight and if I keep trying to force it I'll only make things worse
grasp hand
just deciding fuck it, I'll write some tags— and seeing that it's 11pm at night 
grasps back
I'll just drag myself to the shower and unlatch my need to get this done, and after that if I can keep my eyes open, tags at last
This is how I feel but it is 1a
puts my hand to the screen in solidarity
also, made the terrible decision to go back to work but I actually finished it off and sent it out pre-deadline so if nothing else that stress is out of the way
drags my bones to bed after 800 yrs in the art mines to sleep like never before
get reST
comes up holding a bat casually
sleep
slept for 800 years and everything hurts but
also now that I'm awake and see the worst bullshit imaginable, as a side note for life in Hell: anyone in the US who has periods, you don't need to delete your trackers or get rid of Fitbit, etc, just continue letting the app update itself for you as usual if you've conceived or put in adjusted data to protect yourself
(obviously do what feels safest in general, but I've been seeing the delete now messages, and while I agree with the idea of privacy I also know apps are hugely important to monitoring health for a lot of people with specific needs or illnesses)
and if anyone needs to talk or feels overwhelmed or wants resources, tap at me on discord or in a pp
panic attack to end all panic attacks both last night and earlier today, and man, I'm giving myself a twitter ban since the last few days of sliding back into it on a whim have made me more upset than I ever expected, which in hindsight was real dumb; how did I not see this coming
me, swearing off twitter: this place sucks and makes everything so much worse
me, returning to twitter: nah I was probably just feeling hypersensitive about social media-
me, returning to twitter: nah I was probably just feeling hypersensitive about social media-
anyway showered, chilled; just gonna sink tf into tags now that I'm no longer falling off an emotional cliff because screw letting this upset me any more than it already has
fuck twitter actually
there's some great stuff on there, art etc, but MAn the bad stuff makes it not worth it
sorry it got in your brain
yeah, I was venting about it w a friend last night to level out and I think it's that stupid combination of Bad News + good informative posts about it so you get (for legit reasons) drawn in, but then once you're in there it's just nothing but Hate and Bullshit without any kind of curation, so then you keep looking for someone who's reasonable only to
twitter sucks good job on yanking yourself out of it. so easy to doom scroll
good job on yanking yourself out of it. so easy to doom scroll
start that chain crawl all over again
and thanks fam fr
it's not even a huge deal by itself being Bothered, but with the state of things everywhere being what they are right now, boy did my mind just snap like a fucking twig into a full on misery-spiral lol
slides my ass back to tumblr and calls it good for good
grasp hand tightly
crushes hand like a solo cup (affectionate)
yeah ive banned myself from twitter as well. doomspiraling doesnt help anyone either
so i tell myself at least 
yeah
IT SURE DOESN'T
man the worst thing about having a stubborn migraine is just the weird post-pang feeling of headache that intermittently comes and goes every 5-10 minutes
like buddy I have medicated you, I have had an ocean of water, I've slept, it is quiet, can you please let me get anything done
(also look I know I said no twitter but Kit saved my life and found me a great blocker tool, I'm not backsliding I swear)
I hope your migraine abates soon! (Also that cute comic is also Raine. I'm saving it.)
ty! it's pretty much gone now, thankfully (and lmao it IS Raine, actually)
(how did I not see it before)
(They're pretty, for a troll?)
(gotta disguise all of that mischief somehow)
ugh got sick twice tonight, headache is back and I feel overwarm
might not have purely been a migraine after all
pls dont die
i can't play with u if u do
oh shit D:
don't have what I do
oh nooooo oh ugh i hope you feel better bud
ty ty friends; I took NyQuil last night just to settle down and sleep (it forever hits me hard) so I'm mega groggy from that and not 100% sure how I feel overall yet but so far so good? a little off and sore, but that might just be tiredness from last night still sticking around lol
wooooof that Nyquil sleep is like nothing else
oh man taking nyquil is basically like time travel and teleportation all at once
how did i get here and what year is it??
realizing it's 7:40 at night and I haven't eaten anything today
boy howdy it has been a long one
more importantly tho
cattes <3
best little terrors
shoving you towards food
lmao soon
have to wait till dinner is done cooking at this pt
gives u a toffee pop
o shit
toffeeee