I'm just feeling lonely and overwhelmed

I still feel stupid and like I wanna cry

brains and emotions blow, i'm sorry you're having a day :<

but long story short: I got very used to it being just Skyler and I got a long time, but when she started making new friends I was feeling lonely. then I went to the drag show; it was supposed to be my bestie and I but she gets in the car and says

her friend from work is coming too

which okay, in the moment I tried to be positive, but considering it was something we were doing for my birthday it felt kind of....rude and inconsiderate

even though I was hurt I tried to engage in conversation but it was mostly of them talking about their work drama and such so I felt kind of like a third wheel ..... at the thing that was supposed to be for me

but then I thought I was just being stupid and childish and my friend isn't responsible for my feelings so I just holed it up

then something happened this morning that was very kind and helpful but I misunderstood the intention.

because Ive been bottling up my loneliness as just being jealous and childish

so I just ollied because I got overwhelmed and felt stupid, but I still feel like I'm encroaching on a space that is not for me

but I'm taking a break from discord servers, but I'm gonna be able to be pmd

and I'll join chill activities

I just have a lot of things I want to do but I don't have many irl friends who are interested

i just wish I could get it out of my brain that people don't want me around and that I have nothing of value to offer

because at the end of the day, I feel like I don't fit in anywhere

AND ITS SO STUPID AND I HATE IT

idk

I hate my brain

and allergies

that was super rude of them yeah

my bestie does shit like that too. she doesn't live here anymore, but even when she comes to visit she pulls shit like that

and i know what it's like to not have friends in the area. I don't have any here, either

just know that you are definitely wanted 8D I enjoy talking to you and playing games with you and if we lived closer i'd come and see u

;_; thank u

and like my volunteering stuff is picking back up again but....my friends there make it a part of their personality and I don't

I just have the most tanked self esteem so I just get self conscious about my emotions

That’s really rude of them ;;

HUGS YOU

hugs y'all too!!!

Whether the outing is for you or not, it’s considerate to ask all involved parties before bringing an additional person along.

I thought so too but

idk I thought maybe I was being silly

Not at all.

Definitely not silly. hugs tight