why sleep when you can be depressed?

usually, my self confidence is in the toilet

i’m a firm believer in fake it until you make it

because like if i can just push myself i figure i can be confident

but lately

i’ve been full of “i’m worthless, i can’t do anything that is valued by anyone”

which are feelings i haven’t had in a long time

i know this is product of the past two years of not really seeing friends

but it feels legit like i’m just being moved on from sometimes

AND I KNOW THAT IS ANXIETY

and like skyler keeps trying to reassuring me

but everything i’ve attempted to do in the past two years has just kind of

been dropped because it’s not...idk i’m not seeing the value in it

that being said, her going to cali (even though she’s not now) triggered some trauma from my last relationship

and some other things which are stupid and something i shouldn’t get so huffy over

WITHOUT GOING INTO TOO MUCH detail

gf before skyler essentially did something that really, to me, was emotionally cheating on a person, but they didn’t see it that way

and it started with a lot of things that are happening now and it just sets me off

it doesn’t help that i’m ALREADY bored with this job and i’m not even out of training yet

this is just me whining

and trying to get my head on straight

ukannotwin:

y’all adhd is hard

danybel:

i hope you feel better very very soon!

thank you!

hugs super tight